


A Free Spirit

by Lobster_Ruu



Category: Berserk, Gutsca, casca - Fandom, guts - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-04 23:42:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4157406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobster_Ruu/pseuds/Lobster_Ruu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never thought that love was real. She never thought that her love would be shown in a different light. Her eyes gaze at the stable boy but they also see the future king. Dances and firelight give her the right choice as her future is predicted. Jealousy, bloodshed, and escape play through her life as she pursues her freedom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fire Filled Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I'm sick of having these depressing thoughts about Guts and Casca and well this was the only way it could work. I hope you enjoy!

He was abnormally tall, slightly built, and had bright amber eyes. Flaming eyes filled with mystery. They burned against her face as she met his gaze for the first time. Casca put a finger up to her lips as she studied her new stable hand. He didn't look like a slacker nor did he look like he'd care what happened to him other wise. A stiff expression but he'll do. “You're hired. Follow me and I'll show you around.” Casca didn't want anyone to show the newbie how things were done. Assuring her confidence in her own training was something she loved to do. Taking shorts strides to the stable she began her tour with a firm tone. “You'll find all the necessitates to clean, brush, sweep, feed, and clean in this area over here.” 

The barn itself was in horrible condition. The roof had holes from horrible rainstorms, not to mention the smell of feces reeked off of the horses. 

“Do you even take care of your horses?” The man grunted as his eyes stared angrily at her. 

“I do. The last stable boy we had was executed for trying to steal my prized possession. His work ethic was absolutely horrible. I hope you do what he did not.” Pulling up her boots with a huff she marched her way out of the barn. The tall man had not let his eyes waver from hers the whole time she talked. It made her furious. “Good luck.” 

The castle her father had built was tiny compared to the others surrounding their kingdom. There were hardly any servants so Casca grew up doing things herself which her father seemed to disagree with most of the time. Allowing her freedom could prove to be a bad idea down the long road. If her hand in marriage was to be accepted she would not allow it. The slim figured girl wandered around the grounds of the castle with a bucket in her hand. A busy day. In a day or two a large jousting competition will arrive at the castle. Since their castle had a large flat grassy slope nearby it was the perfect area to set up camp for other close by castles. 

The big celebration was the fact that the King was coming. He barely left his castle but since his victory in a nearby country, the fact of celebrating was ringing in his ears. He even had a suitable son for marriage so of course Casca's father proposed he come to their castle. 

“Casca!” A gruff voice sounded from a small building near the well. A hobbled figure came into view as Casca shaded her face with a lift of her wrist. The familiar limp in that gait and the worn smile of her father. 

“Hi Daddy.” Her face cracked a smile as she welcomed the fragile figure with a light hug. A part of her was excited to see her father up and about before the ceremony but she was also concerned. He'd mostly talk about the coming day and mostly about the prince and how she should behave. Horribly boring things she didn't want to hear. 

“I know you don't want to hear me banter but I need to feel secure about tomorrow.” 

 

Sighing slightly she walked back to the well and stared into the dark pit below. “It's about the prince isn't it?” 

“I know you don't want to get married. You'd much rather travel the countryside then stay cooped up in a large castle. I know that but you must. I have to know that you'll be safe once I'm gone.” 

“Daddy I can take care of myself.” Her fists clenched together as she tried to not get angry. Her father always talked about him being gone. It drove her crazy. He was here now and that's all that mattered. “You took care of mom and you are taking care of me.” 

He went silent as the memories filled up his mind. “You are just like her... you know that? Stubborn yet graceful like a doe. You have her eyes.” 

Casca smiled warmly as she placed a hand on her father's shoulder. “Anything that I can do to remember her I will. Thank you Daddy.” Casca wasn't one for fond hugs but a burning desire to embrace her father's frail frame was more than needed. 

Casca turned around slowly as she felt a presence nearby. The tall looming figure of her new stableboy hindered her view. It seemed the mute had something to say. 

“Which horses do you need let out?” His voice sounded different than what she had expected. Deep and hoarse. Casca didn't say a word as she lead the stable hand back to the barn. 

“Every other day I want you to put my father's horse out into the field. I don't want to put him with the younger horses in case they hurt him. Put every horse out in the pasture today.” 

The man went to work gathering leads and draping them over the oak doors. She decided to tend to her own steed. A large black horse whinnied excitedly to her as she slowly opened the door. Toren was the beasts name and none to be ignored. A wild colt trained through months of labor. All done by herself. A tamed beast but free in the spirit. Running her fingers through his mane she pressed her cheek to his neck. The drumming of a heartbeat filled her ear with excitement. 

“You might need this.” She turned around to see the black haired man hold out a sturdy lead. She then met eye contact once more. The wild fire burning in his amber orbs. Almost like Toren. A tamed beast but a free spirit inside. Her fingers grasped the rope as she tied it around her horses halter. Leading him outside she set him free in the pasture. Tossing his mane, he galloped away. 

“You need help?” Casca questioned the stable man as she turned around to see a barrage of horses nudging him incessantly. She tried to hold in a fit of laughter as she saw his face. A loud laugh escaped her throat as she had to hold onto the fence to keep her up right. 

“I guess I shouldn't hold 6 horses at once....” Casca wiped tears from her face as she grabbed a couple leads from him. 

“I'm guessing you have never worked in a stable before.” 

“No … I was a soldier. After the victory in Sunderland I had no where else to go but to head back to my home village. The war has made me uncertain .. about peace that is … and about horses.” 

“I'll help you get back in the swing of regular life. It's better than sleeping in tents and eating the same horrible food all day. Not to mention lugging around 100 pounds of pure metal.” 

The strange man cracked a smile for the first time in her presence. It was small but it seemed that he never really did smile. An untimely occurrence that seemed to have surprised him. Taken a back he paused for just a split second for Casca to notice. She understood his intentions and quickly let the horses run free from her grasp. 

The tanned skinned female did not want to return back into the castle. The sun was high in the sky with dew faintly scattering the blades of grass. A storm was coming. It was too peaceful for anything not to happen. Placing her arms on the fence she watched the world in front of her. The stable hand did the same but as he was enormously tall he placed the curve of his hand against his sharp cheek bone. 

Something bothered the female as the world seemed to sink into peacefulness. “You have a name don't you?” 

“Aye. I'm called Guts.” He waited for her to grow a confused expression which he carefully explained. “Battle nickname.” Not as careful as she had hoped. "Also ... about the last stable hand. He wasn't executed was he?"

Casca grinned as she stared out into the pasture. "No. He slipped and fell off the roof. None by my cause at all." Guts looked relieved as he smiled once again. A tamed beast but a free spirit within.


	2. Heartfelt Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the King's arrival draws near, Casca and Guts work hard to prepare for his arrival.  
> Casca is faced with the pressing dilemma of her marriage with the Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *silently screams* I am trying my hardest to make sure that I write these characters correctly ;n; I'm tryingggg and I feel like the next chapter is just gonna be a lot of re writes xDD BUT that's okay! The more I rewrite it the more I actually like it so yeah.

Casca's mind was rampant that day. The pressing ideas of what was about to occur that day only made her quiver in excitement. Knights would gather and preform in a show of guts and glory. Casca was not about to sit inside and let the day pass away. Already her busy self was pushed into frenzy as her hair was pinned back with a piece of cloth. A large fire gusted behind her as people rushed around. A large pig turned on a spit, dripping a fatty rain onto the coals of the flames. Casca rummaged around the cabinets to find the right ingredients to make dessert. A large figure filled her vision. A plump woman with sweat beaded on her forehead looked sternly at Casca. “Yev been up since this morn! Go out en take a break right tis minute!” 

Casca wiped her forearm on her neck as she smiled. “Same to yourself Belinda.” The chief cook tucked a few strands of grey hair under her cap as she pushed Casca out the door. 

“Come back in a few hours!” The door slammed shut in front of her face as the burning heat suddenly disappeared. Maybe it was time for a break but she trusted no one when it came to her strawberry tarts. She'd do them on her own leisure when things settled down. Rubbing her hands on her apron she walked among the courtyard. People were just as busy putting up buildings and fixing holes in roofs. 

Before the day had arrived she felt that everything was prepared but sadly she was mistaken. She didn't mind the busyness. The castle finally felt alive after being silent for so long. Ever since her mother's passing it had felt so empty. Now the castle seemed brighter with an invigorating energy. One thing wasn't exciting her as much as it was to other people. The King's arrival was the buzz talk in every conversation. Casca had thought very little of the noble. The question arose of her future marriage with the prince. Her happy mood suddenly became distraught. The thought of marrying someone she barely even knew made her furious. Arguing with her father seemed to be the only answer but even she knew her father would push her to marry him. The thought of his household rising to nobility once again seemed to make him happy. Him being happy made her content. If it was what he wanted she could only do what he wanted. Hopefully he was at least appealing. Feet pounded heavily on the ground as she made her way to the stable. Guts seemed to be busy making the stable as spotless as possible. Every inch of the floor had been scrubbed and it smelled wonderful. Casca stopped in the doorway as she saw the tall figure brushing down her horse. His long fingers gracefully traced each strand of his hair with great ease. Battle scarred fingers. Fingers that had caused death. How had such fine fingers caused the harm of another man. His sharp nose reflected a small beam of light. Her eyes traced his smile. So small and delicate that she felt her lips smile as well. What was with him? Casca had barely taken any interest in staring at someone until now. Guts was a person that she would have never looked at twice. A shadow in life. Her heart told her different. Yes he was different but in a mysterious and fierce way. 

“You gonna say something or look like you could use a nap?” His deep voice echoed in the stable as he turned his head in a playful manner. 

“Huh? OH!” Casca shook her head as she chuckled in embarrassment. “It's been a long day in the kitchens. I got up before the sun did.” 

He didn't reply as he finished up brushing Toren. Casca sauntered over to him to glide a hand over his shiny coat. “You did a fine job. Let's both take a break for a little bit.” 

He mumbled slightly as he lowered his head. “I could never. I have a lot to do. I've heard the people say the King could arrive soon. I'd rather be prepared.” 

“You're right...” Casca walked into Toren's stall and propped her arms on the bannister. The warm noon sun warming her already torched skin from the hours working in the kitchen. 

Guts wasn't prone to taking breaks. A hard worker he was born and bred to be. He hadn't talked all morning until Casca strolled into the barn. Her eyes seemed to go into her thoughts as she leaned against the barn door. The peacefulness of the busy afternoon was wearing him out however. It was relaxing brushing the large beasts. 

“Is something on your mind?” Guts asked her as he stared at the back of her worn apron. She was uneasily quiet. He was used to hearing people rant to him about their lives and he took no particular interest in their behaviors. He did what he was supposed to do. 

“It's the prince.” She mumbled. 

“What about him? He's just another stuck up nobleman just wanting attention like his fuckin father.” 

“Don't say that!” Casca whirled around. Her brown eyes glistened as she breathed a small sigh. “I'm to be wed to him...” 

“I'm guessing you don't want that to happen.” 

“I barely know him and I know nothing of the court. I only know my castle and my horses.” 

Guts could see it now. A girl who lived in freedom for her whole life. Suddenly she was throne into being in charge of an entire country and produce an heir. Cooped up in a large palace but never to feel grass in between her toes. The raven haired male tilted his chin up as he ran a hand through his hair. For some odd reason something was keeping him from retorting back at her. Usually if someone was stuck in a situation he'd yell at them so that it'd stick in their brains but this time it was different. Yelling at Casca seemed like a sin. He'd usually tell someone to suck it up and deal with it but this case was completely different. He was giving advice to a woman. Not some soldier on the battlefield. 

“Then don't be a sorry ass and tell your father.” Guts applauded himself at that sentence. It wasn't mean but it was forceful. Casca was a strong woman. 

“I can't! That's the problem! If I tell my father he'll tell me a sob story about my dead mother and me falling into that... I'll just go along with it. I want to do what my heart tells me but a part of me constantly tells me about father.”

“Do what you want, Casca. If your father doesn't appreciate your ideas then in all actuality he's a pretty shitty father. He should voice his opinion and you voice yours and come up with a consensus that way. Forcing what he wants on you is not the way to go.” 

Guts paused for a second. His eyes stared at Casca's and for once .. someone was listening to him. His voice was being heard. He continued in a fiery passion as he voiced his concern. He truly felt that Casca should have a voice in her future. He liked having someone around that could actually handle his bantering. Not to mention she seemed to be the only one who actually seemed to care about his well being. 

“You have a point. I'm sick of this shit. I'll be right back!” Casca stormed out of the barn with her neck held high. 

Guts chuckled to himself as he watched her go. Casca was becoming more and more of a person he enjoyed to talk too. A person unafraid to stand up. A person that brought him hope. 

Casca was unafraid of what was to come next. She would voice her opinion and her father would listen. He cared about her. More than any person she had ever met. Guts was right. Throwing open her father's door she marched in with her eyes narrowed. 

“Casca!” The old man greeted Casca with a wrinkled smile. Casca did not respond. Her lips tight with anguish. 

“I have some words to say. Yesterday at the well... you told me that I would have to marry the prince. I however do not agree with your decision.” Her father stroked his beard as he listened intently. “I want you to hear out what I have to say. I should be the one to make the decision for my life. I do love you father but I must have a say on what my future holds. I know nothing of the prince and I do not want to marry him.” He smiled as he nodded. 

“You're right. I should've come to you first instead of the king.” The female breathed a sigh of relief as her frown was replaced with a small smirk. “You are my daughter. I should respect what your future holds as well. I do have one question. The prince expects the marriage to go as planned once he arrives. If perhaps you got to know the young man, your thoughts would change about the marriage?” 

“I would have to tell him the marriage is off and then proceed with the ideas of him possibly being my husband. As long as I know that I'm not being forced into the marriage then I'll consider it. I'd like to marry who I like.”

He nodded as he hobbled over to Casca. His green eyes brightened as he smiled. “You are just like your mother.” 

Old stories filled her head as she heard her father's deep voice telling stories of his past. How he met her on the battlefield. Her lineage from some distant land in the south. Her mother had the same dark tanned skin as she did. A trait her father ignored and loved her mother like anyone else would. He'd go on to explain her soft voice and the way her eyes flickered. “Thank you for listening.” Casca replied as she gently embraced her withered family member. 

A few minutes passed. They exchanged more father daughter words in a heartfelt way and Casca was going back down to the kitchens. Once she went outside she saw Guts standing alone in the barn. She'd have to thank him later. Right now she had tarts to jelly and chickens to pluck. Rubbing her hands on her apron she marched her way back down to the fiery room. 

Guts saw her leave. It seemed her speech had affect as her shoulders didn't look tired or weakened with the mind. At least he had done the right thing. Both of them went back to work as the pressing arrival of the king was becoming more relevant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guts saves the daaayyy! *cheers*


	3. Red or Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guts and Casca more or less argue about fashion statements xDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip me aahhhhhhhhhhh I have lots of chapters written but I feel like I've lost my whole story and it's just aghhhh really really confusing for meeee and I dunnooooo ;n; rip me

Evening approached. The sun's final rays beamed down from the heavens. Casca was finished in the kitchens. She felt exhausted from an entires day of hard work. Fingers felt stiff and she desperately needed to get some sleep. Maybe she could avoid the King's arrival if she went to bed while the sun was still up. However she had to complete one task before she limped off to bed. “Guts?” Her head peeked inside the barn to see him sharpening a massive sword. It's blade as long as his form. Instantly she could see the blood that was split by this metal death machine. She shivered as Guts slid a sharpening stone over it's honed edge. 

“Oh … sorry.” Guts quickly propped his sword up on the edge of the wall. 

“No no it's fine.” Her hands raised up in a sign of apology. “I just wanted to come and … thank you.” 

He chuckled as he looked over at Casca with a surprised reaction. “Seems for once my advice was actually a good thing. But really you don't need to thank me.” 

“No I'm thanking you because I needed your advice and I think it's honorable with an invitation.” 

An eyebrow rose as he became more interested in her statement. “To what?” 

“The dance. Once the King arrives there's going to be a feast plus a dance.” Guts shook his head. 

“I'm not one for dances and,” He pointed to his blue tunic, “I don't have any suitable clothes.” 

“That won't be an issue. My father has many clothes that he never wears! I'm sure if a few things disappear he won't notice.” Casca giggled to herself as she watched his reaction. “The least you could do was accept my thank you. I won't make you go if you don't want too. Although I will say,” Casca slowly walked towards the tall male and raised a hand to her face as her voice lowered to a whisper, “People here don't seem to like you. They call you.. mmm aloof, stubborn, and scary.” 

“Scary? I wouldn't consider myself being … scary!” The male chuckled to himself as he gave Casca a sheepish look. Eyes rolled as he nodded. “Fine. I'll go.” 

The tanned skinned female grinned happily. She clapped excitedly as she grabbed his hand and yanked him to the center of the barn. She walked in circles around his form as she came to a quick consensus on an outfit for him to wear. 

“Red. You'd look decent in red.” 

“I'm more of a darker color. Black?”

“We aren't going to a funeral Guts! This is the King we're talking about. This feast is vital to how long he'll reside here. The more he likes it the longer he'll stay.”

“And how does that benefit us? I'd rather not see that sniveling Prince.” He paused for a second as he put his arms against his chest. A look of disdain crossed his features. “You just want him here longer so you can marry his ass.” 

“I don't want to marry him smart ass. I want to know who he is. If I do decide to marry him then I'll know how good of a person he is.” 

“He's not a good person Casca. Trust me. I've seen him out on the battlefield. The aura he puts on his battalions .. it's very... off-putting.” 

“How so?”

“He.. He can order a drink of ale and in a heartbeat have it in his hand. His army is like a multitude of his servants. Every word that pours out of his mouth is an order and they listen. They follow him like a brother. I've just... never seen that in a higher up before. It somewhat sickens me.” 

Casca paced the barn nervously. What Guts explained about the Prince seemed very fascinating. A man that even every soldier can respect. Her interest was peaked but she was slightly annoyed with Guts's interpretation of him. “He sounds like a normal general to me.” 

“Fine. Do what you want Casca. I'm not the one controlling your choices.” 

“You should at least have respected that he was a general in the army. So ordering people around and having his soldier's be trustworthy to him is a very important asset.” 

“I just don't think you should trust him right away.”

“Did you?” Casca's voice filled with anger. Her voice shook with emotion as she spit out those two words. Anger towards someone who had no reason to bash a noble. He was a peasant after all. A past soldier who was in the war for coin, not for saving the kingdom. Guts seemed like that type of man. 

“I had too. I was a soldier under his command. When I left the army I knew something was up with him.” Guts's chest rose up and down as he tried to gather his breathing. For some reason when he talked about the war he got a wild look in his eyes. Those glistening amber orbs rose up in flames. The excitement of wielding a sword and slicing through flesh.

“You see? He seems acceptable.” The female crossed her arms as her eyebrows pinched together in a slight sense of annoyance. 

Guts ignored her retort as his mouth clenched. His fists clenched as he spoke once more. “I'll meet you in the castle in an hour.”

Casca's back to the tall raven haired male but even she could feel his piercing gaze on her back as she walked out of the barn. Casca already believed in Guts' trust. His view point on matters were none to be ignored. It was her choice after all. Guts had no say in her future. 

What was up with him? Guts was so different than anyone else she had met before. His sharp gaze was off-putting but also appealing at the same time. The way his voice sounded. Gruff and filled with a rough toughness. Maybe if her time with the Prince failed she could rely on Guts's advice. It seemed to be accurate enough anyway. She'd be careful with the Prince. Just like he said. “Looks like I'm gonna have to thank him some other way.”


	4. Memories in Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make it angsty but yeah yet again I got no ideaaaaaa

The castle was warmer than he expected. The stone floors were cleaned and clean straw was put on top. Everything about the castle seemed inviting. He waited patiently as his eyes roamed the walls of the silent tower. Paintings and banners lined the walls. Each one depicting a stern family. It seemed Casca hadn't had a painting done of her yet. The sound of echoing footsteps brought his attention to the large stairwell near the corner of the room. Casca had changed and greeted him with a small smirk. It seemed she was still slightly annoyed with what he had to say about the Prince. Sighing slightly he followed her up to her room. Why of all places did he have to go to her room? He wasn't scared about seeing anything out of the ordinary he was just worried that things would get awkward. 

The steps wound up and up until they reached a small door at the end of a narrow hallway. Casca opened the door and greeted him in. “Right this way.” Guts wasn't to surprised to see a couple of swords lying on the floor but to see several suits of armor was astonishing to say the least. Casca a fighter? Now that he imagined her handling a sword it all made sense. He picked up a small sword off of the floor and swung it around a few times. He wasn't used to such puny weapons. It felt like a twig in his grasp. His amber eyes gathered in the rest of her abode. A fireplace loomed dimly in the dark painted room. Tapestries clung to the walls, threading pictures of strange animals dancing in groves of flowers. The feminine side of Casca showed in those tapestries. 

Her bed was cluttered with papers and torn edged books that he could barely tell that it was a bed at all. Other than that it seemed pretty Casca like to him. He watched her closely as she made her way over her array of swords. There was a still sense of silence as she made her way past her rather small bed. “You're the first one to not call me a buffoon.” Casca said as she grabbed a few items from a nearby table. 

“Now why the hell would I call you that?” Guts chuckled as he set the sword back on the floor. 

“Here. These are the only ones I could find in red... and the ones that could actually fit you.” 

3 wool tunics were thrust into his chest which he took with some slight hesitation. The fabric felt rich under his fingertips which startled him somewhat. “Do you want me to .. uh...” 

“See if they fit? Well of course you dimwit! There's a screen over behind the door you can use.” Guts raised an eyebrow as he threw the clothes over his shoulder to grab the screen. This was just getting more and more awkward but Casca didn't seem to mind. She mainly just insisted using the screen to hide his figure. He brushed it off and set the screen up fairly close to the fire place. Slipping out of his stablehand's tunic he quickly rushed to put on the first of the wool tunics. This one was fairly comfortable but he knew nothing of fashion. Stepping out past the screen he saw Casca's eyes roam his torso with intrigue. A finger pressed up against her lips as she contemplated the design. 

“Hmmmm. I noticed this color might be too bright on you. This shade is slightly more orange than red. Try the darker color red on.” 

Guts shrugged and repeated the same step. This time the fitting was a bit tighter around the waist. Casca's observing eyes glided over his form once more. This time she smiled a little bit. “This one looks quite dashing. You'd get all the lady's attention with this one.” The raven haired male growled in annoyance as he marched over to the mirror. Crimson cloth filled his vision. The neck veered down into a long V that showed the majority of his neck. Leather straps criss crossed in the front and the sleeves tapered down to cover a bit of his shoulders. Pleasing and formal enough to disgust Guts. He looked nice but he couldn't last two hours in that attire. 

“You know Esmerelda in the kitchens is looking for someone.” Casca hinted with a wink. 

Guts glowered even more as he tugged on the tunics waist. “Love is a waste of my time.” Casca snorted as she crossed her arms. 

“Haven't you ever thought about sharing your whole heart to someone? I think it sounds beautiful.” The slight change in pitch brought a lovely sound to the dark room. Guts's heart was softened by her odd words but the dark thoughts that pressed into his mind ravaged on. Love was not a word he thought of often. Love never occurred to him. To offer trust into another human being would be odd even for Guts. “I'm sure you've met someone...?” He didn't reply as he threw off the crimson clothing. His upper chest exposed to reveal scars. So many faint red lines dotted his skin. Each one a memory of battle and regret. Casca's eyes widened in horror. 

“I've never known love. I've only tasted death. No lasting memory of someone I've cared about.” He shivered slightly as he slowly turned around to stare at Casca. A finger pointing to a large wound right where his heart was. Jagged lines meant it wasn't an arrow or a dagger but a full on sword. His heart pierced by a cold blade. “There was a woman. Her voice was like the morning. She cheered up some of my comrades with stories of old and drank her ale with happiness. Of course she was part of the enemy. I tried hiding her away and keeping her safe. It seemed my efforts weren't enough. The next morning she hung on a pole with her insides cut open. Her voice silenced forever. That was the only time I felt any sort of affection. I gave up trying.” There was a slight pause in words before he grabbed his blue shirt. A thought Guts would never have thought of. “But... I want to change that.” 

Those words bit into Casca. Sinking it's teeth deep into her mind. A man who wanted to change his dark past. A man who wanted a brighter future. A man who just wanted to be happy. Casca seemed to beam on the inside. Guts was exactly like her. Even though her past didn't involve all the blood, it involved the same idealism. Happiness. The one goal every person wants to seek. Even if love didn't find her way, Casca would live to be happy for herself. Guts was more human than she realized. If Guts helped her find her happiness then she would do the same. 

“I'm... sorry....” Her words came out in a lumbering state of regret. “I hope you find your happiness Guts. You deserve it more than anyone I know.” 

“So do you.” Guts threw on his shirt and held onto the formal attire that he would wear tomorrow. His face grave but he managed to smile as he nodded to Casca. “I'd like to meet this Esmerelda if you don't mind.” 

The female nodded as her heart somewhat sunk. Esmerelda would be lucky to marry Guts. Anyone would be lucky enough to marry him. If this was what Guts wanted she wouldn't stop him. The lone male left her quarters and slowly closed the door to her room. Now she was alone to contemplate. Her mind told her that Guts was dangerous. A ravenous monster but her heart told her that he was gentle. Gentle but suffering from his past. Casca could never marry a stable boy. Her choices were more stable with the Prince after all. If he was suitable she would take it but somehow her choices were splitting. She was liking Guts a lot more than she had anticipated.


	5. Chapter 5

The castle was warmer than he expected. The stone floors were cleaned and clean straw was put on top. Everything about the castle seemed inviting. He waited patiently as his eyes roamed the walls of the silent tower. Paintings and banners lined the walls. Each one depicting a stern family. It seemed Casca hadn't had a painting done of her yet. The sound of echoing footsteps brought his attention to the large stairwell near the corner of the room. Casca had changed and greeted him with a small smirk. It seemed she was still slightly annoyed with what he had to say about the Prince. Sighing slightly he followed her up to her room. Why of all places did he have to go to her room? He wasn't scared about seeing anything out of the ordinary he was just worried that things would get awkward. 

The steps wound up and up until they reached a small door at the end of a narrow hallway. Casca opened the door and greeted him in. “Right this way.” Guts wasn't to surprised to see a couple of swords lying on the floor but to see several suits of armor was astonishing to say the least. Casca a fighter? Now that he imagined her handling a sword it all made sense. He picked up a small sword off of the floor and swung it around a few times. He wasn't used to such puny weapons. It felt like a twig in his grasp. His amber eyes gathered in the rest of her abode. A fireplace loomed dimly in the dark painted room. Tapestries clung to the walls, threading pictures of strange animals dancing in groves of flowers. The feminine side of Casca showed in those tapestries. 

Her bed was cluttered with papers and torn edged books that he could barely tell that it was a bed at all. Other than that it seemed pretty Casca like to him. He watched her closely as she made her way over her array of swords. There was a still sense of silence as she made her way past her rather small bed. “You're the first one to not call me a buffoon.” Casca said as she grabbed a few items from a nearby table. 

“Now why the hell would I call you that?” Guts chuckled as he set the sword back on the floor. 

“Here. These are the only ones I could find in red... and the ones that could actually fit you.” 

3 wool tunics were thrust into his chest which he took with some slight hesitation. The fabric felt rich under his fingertips which startled him somewhat. “Do you want me to .. uh...” 

“See if they fit? Well of course you dimwit! There's a screen over behind the door you can use.” Guts raised an eyebrow as he threw the clothes over his shoulder to grab the screen. This was just getting more and more awkward but Casca didn't seem to mind. She mainly just insisted using the screen to hide his figure. He brushed it off and set the screen up fairly close to the fire place. Slipping out of his stablehand's tunic he quickly rushed to put on the first of the wool tunics. This one was fairly comfortable but he knew nothing of fashion. Stepping out past the screen he saw Casca's eyes roam his torso with intrigue. A finger pressed up against her lips as she contemplated the design. 

“Hmmmm. I noticed this color might be too bright on you. This shade is slightly more orange than red. Try the darker color red on.” 

Guts shrugged and repeated the same step. This time the fitting was a bit tighter around the waist. Casca's observing eyes glided over his form once more. This time she smiled a little bit. “This one looks quite dashing. You'd get all the lady's attention with this one.” The raven haired male growled in annoyance as he marched over to the mirror. Crimson cloth filled his vision. The neck veered down into a long V that showed the majority of his neck. Leather straps criss crossed in the front and the sleeves tapered down to cover a bit of his shoulders. Pleasing and formal enough to disgust Guts. He looked nice but he couldn't last two hours in that attire. 

“You know Esmerelda in the kitchens is looking for someone.” Casca hinted with a wink. 

Guts glowered even more as he tugged on the tunics waist. “Love is a waste of my time.” Casca snorted as she crossed her arms. 

“Haven't you ever thought about sharing your whole heart to someone? I think it sounds beautiful.” The slight change in pitch brought a lovely sound to the dark room. Guts's heart was softened by her odd words but the dark thoughts that pressed into his mind ravaged on. Love was not a word he thought of often. Love never occurred to him. To offer trust into another human being would be odd even for Guts. “I'm sure you've met someone...?” He didn't reply as he threw off the crimson clothing. His upper chest exposed to reveal scars. So many faint red lines dotted his skin. Each one a memory of battle and regret. Casca's eyes widened in horror. 

“I've never known love. I've only tasted death. No lasting memory of someone I've cared about.” He shivered slightly as he slowly turned around to stare at Casca. A finger pointing to a large wound right where his heart was. Jagged lines meant it wasn't an arrow or a dagger but a full on sword. His heart pierced by a cold blade. “There was a woman. Her voice was like the morning. She cheered up some of my comrades with stories of old and drank her ale with happiness. Of course she was part of the enemy. I tried hiding her away and keeping her safe. It seemed my efforts weren't enough. The next morning she hung on a pole with her insides cut open. Her voice silenced forever. That was the only time I felt any sort of affection. I gave up trying.” There was a slight pause in words before he grabbed his blue shirt. A thought Guts would never have thought of. “But... I want to change that.” 

Those words bit into Casca. Sinking it's teeth deep into her mind. A man who wanted to change his dark past. A man who wanted a brighter future. A man who just wanted to be happy. Casca seemed to beam on the inside. Guts was exactly like her. Even though her past didn't involve all the blood, it involved the same idealism. Happiness. The one goal every person wants to seek. Even if love didn't find her way, Casca would live to be happy for herself. Guts was more human than she realized. If Guts helped her find her happiness then she would do the same. 

“I'm... sorry....” Her words came out in a lumbering state of regret. “I hope you find your happiness Guts. You deserve it more than anyone I know.” 

“So do you.” Guts threw on his shirt and held onto the formal attire that he would wear tomorrow. His face grave but he managed to smile as he nodded to Casca. “I'd like to meet this Esmerelda if you don't mind.” 

The female nodded as her heart somewhat sunk. Esmerelda would be lucky to marry Guts. Anyone would be lucky enough to marry him. If this was what Guts wanted she wouldn't stop him. The lone male left her quarters and slowly closed the door to her room. Now she was alone to contemplate. Her mind told her that Guts was dangerous. A ravenous monster but her heart told her that he was gentle. Gentle but suffering from his past. Casca could never marry a stable boy. Her choices were more stable with the Prince after all. If he was suitable she would take it but somehow her choices were splitting. She was liking Guts a lot more than she had anticipated.


	6. Dance Under the Eaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3 yeee dere be a coolio dance xDDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have at least 25 pages written and haven't had the time to publish it because I'm afraid of what I've written ;u;   
> I also hate editing things so yeah. Rip

The sun was about to disappear when the arrival of the King echoed around the castle. The walls filled with people as they watched the King's entry. It looked like thousands of people had filled up the prairie outside of the castle. Tents were being pitched and horses whinnied. Casca raised her hand against her forehead as she saw a group of soldiers galloping next to two white horses. Their coats glistening in the faint twilight. Her eyes strained to find the company that she would be tending too. A faint outline glistened. A tall male with his hair long. White. A bright white. The ends of his hair curled as the wind took it in small gusts. Was that the Prince? 

“My lady!” A maid bustled into Casca's room with a large bucket in tow. “You must take a bath before the King arrives!” 

She sighed heavily as she turned around to gaze at her maid. She never needed one but apparently her father wanted her to have one just in case she needed anything. Winfred was her name. Through her white cap she could see bright red hair hanging out of the edges. It seemed she had been in the kitchens only a few moments ago. “Very well. Let's get some hot water going.” 

“I've already got some going! You go ahead and get yourself ready.” 

She hesitated some before she realized how achy her body was. A warm bath could spruce up and awaken her exhausted body. Her bath went by rather quickly as she was in a hurry to prepare for the King to come into the castle. His tenants would be staying outside of the castle as there were hundreds of people. People who travelled from the capitol and most of them were servants. This would be enjoyable. Winfred helped her pick out a suitable dress for the feast. Smooth fabric in the color of an emerald green. The length passed her feet to drape around her toes. The dress clung to her skin, extenuating her muscle toned hips. Sleeves ran down her thin arms. She then grabbed a small belt and tied it around her waist, just to add something else to the otherwise plain fabric. It was quaint and definitely something she would wear to a party. 

Winfred smiled with delight. It was very rare when Casca dared try on something feminine. Whenever she did it was something to look forward too. “Now you pick out a dress Winfred.” Casca smirked as she twirled around to gaze at her handmaiden. 

The ginger gulped nervously as her eyes widened in surprisement. “M-Me? My-My lady I dare not take one of your precious dresses. I shall stay in the kitchens to make sure no pesky children take the last of your sw-” 

“Oh come on!” She grabbed Winfred's hand and dragged her to her chest and threw it open. “I think you'd look splendid in a turquoise. Don't you think?” 

Winfred looked grateful as she giggled with excitement. “If you insist my lady.” 

In a matter of minutes, Casca had Winfred in a fresh blue gown. Much of the same design as hers but it was pleated in the front with a creamy white. The borders of the dress were lined in a gold trimming. The ginger's hair was tied in a neat braid that twisted down the side of her neck. Casca was amazed at how long it was. Never had she seen Winfred's hair out of her bonnet before. The tanned female nodded as she smiled. “Do you have anyone you'd like to dance with tonight? Maybe... Edgar from the blacksmith?” 

Winfred seemed startled as she gripped her hands. “Ed-Edgar is very nice. I've spoken to him a couple of times... do you think he'll be at the feast tonight?” 

“I don't see why not!” Casca once again grabbed her hand maiden's hand and whisked her out of her room with a loud giggle. “Let's go get our belly's fat!” 

The feasting hall was busy with excitement as people filled every bench and seat in the large room. The fireplace roared with life as the flames licked the wood it was given. Food sat piled high on the tables as servants filled wine goblets. On the far end sat her father with the strong stature of the fairly young King. Grey hair that was turning white curled around his face. Thin in stature but had a strong laugh that echoed around the dining hall. Next to him sat the man she had seen just a few hours ago. The same flowing white mane curled around his neck. His face much like his father's. Plump lips and thin eyes stared warily at the crowd before him. It had to be the Prince. That was the only thing she could think of. Suddenly she saw him gazing at her. Much like a hawk. The gaze she received was somewhat odd and strange. She gave the Prince a short nod and began to make her way to her father's table with Winfred in tow. 

As she was walking to her seat she caught sight of Guts sitting in the far corner of the room. His rather tall form towered above everyone else but he seemed to be making some friends who sat close by. One of them was Esmerelda. The beautiful brunette who had her hair pinned in an intricate bun. Her dress a gorgeous maroon. Esmerelda, the girl everyone secretly loved. Guts was smiling as he sipped his wine but looked up when he saw Casca walk into the dining hall. 

Those strange amber orbs had the stare of a warm greeting. Much more different than the Prince's. How she'd rather sit next to a close friend then someone who would most likely marry her. Shaking off her incompetence she marched her way to her father. He greeted her with a comforting smile and offered her the seat right next to the Prince's. Of course. 

Once she sat down the Prince's gaze was almost discerning. It was off putting but still she dared not judge the Prince merrily by his harsh gaze. “You look lovely this evening.” The Prince mumbled to her as he sipped his wine. His voice was smooth like honey. She couldn't help but blush a little bit as she smiled. 

“Thank you. I'd say the same but that might be a little odd.” They both laughed and instantly Casca felt better in this predicament. 

“I don't think I've introduced myself. My name is Griffith Hawthorn. Prince to Leon Hawthorn and future King of Perudia.” The white haired male offered a slight nod and Casca returned the nod.   
“And I'm Casca. Daughter to Jacob. Steward of Castle Riker.” The handshake was firm and a little bit odd but she didn't mind. 

“Your father hasn't stopped talking about you ever since we've arrived. He also told me that I should eat all your sweet tarts before my father does.” 

She sighed as she took a sip of wine. Of course father buttering up Griffith's views on Casca. Making sure he was putting a steady foundation in what could be their relationship. “He's right though. My tarts are the best in all of Castle Riker!” Their small chit chat went on for a couple of minutes as each got to know more and more about each other. This was a pleasant occasion to say the least. Casca's smile only seemed to increase as she talked more and more with the charming Prince. The feast began and the more she ate, the more she forgot about Guts's interaction with her just a few hours ago. 

Wine and food filled her belly as she felt the tipsiness of the wine taking effect. Usually she could hold her liquor but tonight she let it slip, just this once. She might as well enjoy herself. The tables were moved to the edges of the walls and the dance began. Lutes and lyres began to play a happy beat. Arms grabbed arms as couples twirled around the castle. Casca ignored the Prince for a while as she danced the merry tune with many of her friends who worked in the kitchens. 

Her dark orbs caught sight of Guts sitting alone. His broad shoulders sat slumped. It seemed the ordeal with Esmerelda wasn't one to forget. Guts didn't seem as bothered by it as she had thought. No tears stained his crimson tunic and nor did his face reveal any sort of sadness. No emotion sprang from his features. A silent figure. Casca huffed out in annoyance as she grabbed another wine and marched her way to Guts. It seemed he was just about to leave when Casca slammed her goblet down on the table. 

“The hell ya doin? Where's Esmerelda so I can wring her neck?” She blurted out with drunkenness as she sipped loudly. 

Guts kindly put his arms on her shoulders to guide her down. “Is there a reason as to why you are suddenly playing match maker? Or is this just the wine talking?” 

“Dammit Guts! I asked first!” The female's cheeks stained bright red as she took another drought of the delicious wine. “Well Esmerelda wasn't all that wonderful. She's missing out ya know. On the kindest heart in all of Castle Riker.” 

Guts narrowed his eyes slightly as he took the goblet away from Casca. “How goes your fair with Griffith?” 

“Not good. It's just first impressions aren't my strong suit. Let's go dance!” 

Casca gripped his hand as a smile greeted her face. Guts thought for a second. A sigh escaped his lungs before he nodded his head slowly. A giggle found it's way as Guts somewhat smirked. Dancing with drunk Casca would definitely be talk of the castle. He lead her to the center of the hall and waited for the next song to play. The lute played slowly as the strings were plucked with ease. A sad tune. 

Guts gently placed his hands against hers. A hand wrapped around her waist. The feeling of thin cloth stung his hands but on the other side was a soft warm feeling. Guts began to take more notice in Casca's actions as the song only ever got slower and slower. His eyes drank in her presence. He hadn't been this close to her. A woman with stunning features that came along with large brown eyes. The darkest brown he had ever seen. He found himself studying her features with careful precision because he knew he'd never get another chance like it again. 

The round smooth lips and small nose only made him smile as he saw the drunk blush staining her cheeks. She was very attractive and then Guts knew. He could feel his heart quickening as his mind filled only with her. The constant beating seemed to make his chest ache. The feeling he knew was affection. To fall in love with a noblewoman was something he never wanted too do. Casca was so different from other nobles. She was strong but her heart was gentle. Guts imagined her laugh in his mind as they twirled around the dance floor. She would never love him back. Her story was much different than his. She had a future and he had none. She could be happy without him. If he dared confess his attraction he would never be the same. 

Casca felt the same desires that Guts had. Her eyes felt his roaming her face. A few hours ago she felt her heart slowly beating as she listened to his voice explain his past. So much she knew naught of Guts but so much she wanted to know. A man filled with mystery and a heart that carried so much. Griffith never rang in her head as they seemed to draw closer to each other. Maybe it was the wine. The wine numbing her senses but there was a part of her real self as the dance came to a slow. 

The song slowly ended and there they stood. Silent figures staring into the eyes of the other. Each had the same burning desire that neither could confess. Casca slowly let her hand go from Guts's. She did not say another word as she slowly walked away. 

“Casca!” Guts called after her as he ran to her. Her form stopped and slowly turned around to face him. “I-I was.. uhh.. just wondering if … you would care to join me at the barn tomorrow morning.” Guts's face turned bright red as he rubbed a nervous hand through his hair. Casca stared with slight amusement as she nodded.

A pair of eyes stared at the two figures. A burning hatred burned in his stomach as he swirled his wine. The hawk-like eyes narrowed as the two separated and they both went to their different destinations.


	7. Tracing Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a very long chapter but I couldn't find a good spot to end it xDDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ripppiddtyyyy rip I hope ya like it

Dawn approached with the sign of rain approaching. Casca's head pounded from the night before but her mind was buzzing with excitement. Guts was showing affection in the most strangest way but she seemed to love it all the same. Throwing on a normal outfit she twirled around the hallways. She could remember every detail from the dance last night. Even though she was numbed with wine, her senses exploded with detail after detail. The way his eyes softened as he gazed at her, the way his hands felt as she grasped them. It all seemed like a dream that would never come true. But she knew what had occurred was real. 

As she smiled with delight a figure stood in the hallway. The flowing white hair and pale complexion was definitely Griffith. He was up quite early. 

“My lord.” Casca mumbled as she curtsied. His tightly lined lips formed into a gentle smile as he nodded back to her. 

“It's a pleasure to see you again Casca. I wanted to discuss something of great importance. Your father yesterday said that you were no longer applicable for marriage. Is there a different suitor?” 

Casca stared gravely as she held her hands in front of her. “No my lord. I just told my father that I didn't want to marry anyone unless I knew who they were first. Hence why our marriage was called off. I hope you understand, my lord.” 

“Why of course I do! I was thinking the same thing rather. I do hope I can get to know you more. I'll be at the tourney today if you would care to join me?” 

“I'm afraid I'll be busy until this evening.” 

“Very well. Have a wonderful morning, Casca.” The Prince strode off with the gentle clanking of his boots against the stone floor. It seemed that last night she had forgotten about the Prince. No matter. He was perfectly capable of finding someone else to declare his love too. He just wasn't her type. What Guts had said about Griffith seemed accurate but there was something else that was wrong. His eyes were always narrowed. Was the war to blame? 

Her steps quickened as she forgot about the odd acting Prince. Her mind attuned to the stablehand. The air outdoors was cold but refreshing compared to the stuffed air in the castle. The sky was grey as the feel of rain hung in the air. The barn was filled with light as the horses pawed the ground nervously. Guts walked among them offering quiet words to still their nerves. He had to have been one of the best stablehands she ever had. A smile dappled her face as she entered the barn. “A good morning to you!” 

Guts turned his neck and smiled back at her. “Good morning.” He faced her completely as his his began to widen with excitement. “I have something for you. Close your eyes.” The female closed her eyes and waited expectantly for what Guts was about to give her. Excitement filled her bones. Footsteps filled her ears. She felt Guts's fingers trace her cheek as he draped something around her neck. “It's a little something I made last night.” 

Her fingers clasped around a small trinket. A wound up piece of leather to resemble a small horse. It was very intricate and beautiful at the same time. “Thank you Guts... it's very lovely.” 

He lead her to Toren's stall. Her black horse was already saddled and his mane was neatly combed. Striding up to her stallion, she hopped up and over. She knew of course that Guts had a place in mind as to where they would go. Twisting the reigns she let Toren walk out of his stall. On the other side of the barn, Guts towered above as he rode a burgundy horse. His face a peaceful look. Something she saw only sometimes. 

“Follow me!” Guts raised his voice as he urged his horse into a fast gallop. Casca followed suit as she beckoned Toren to follow him. The wind flowed through her clothes as she felt her smile widen. Guts lead her out of the walled in castle and out into the countryside. The grey clouds seemed to cling to the ground as the countryside grew grim. Guts's attitude didn't seem to change. Casca saw no reason for her smile to fade. 

Sailing past the campgrounds of the King's encampment, he lead her to a small area behind the camp. A tall forest lining a small river. Past the river were good hunting grounds that many a man had gone too. The woods she would go and play. The trees were her houses. The feeling of rough bark burning the bottoms of her feet. Those were the days. The slowing of horses caused her to snap back to the realization of what Guts was planning. A picnic of some sorts. A beat up blanket lay on the grass near the river bank. Food cluttered in an unorganized fashion lay on the fabric. Casca chuckled as she slid off of Toren's saddle. 

“Guts … it's wonderful!” Casca beamed as she settled down on the blanket. Guts sat next to her and began to set out some food from his pack. 

“I snuck some of the feast food out of the kitchens.” His hand reached into the fabric and pulled out a couple sweet tarts. The ones that Casca had carefully put together. 

Her eyes widened as she lightly slapped his arm, “You stole my tarts!” 

“It's not everyday I get to try your cooking.” The raven haired male chuckled as he took a small bite from one of the tarts. “Damn that's good.” 

“I'd think so since I made it!” 

Their playful joshing went back and forth as they both snacked on leftovers. Their eyes looked at each other as they both continued to eat. Their bantering ended soon after they ate what remained in the satchel. Silence followed as they both sat against the base of a tree. The gentle sound of the river filling their ears. 

“I haven't smiled this much in all my life.” The male finally spoke after a few minutes. Casca turned her head to look at him. It was true. She could see the happiness glowing in his eyes. His smile looked so foreign on his face but yet it made her happy to see him grinning. It seemed to be a relief. “Casca... have you ever … fallen in love with someone before?” 

Casca's cheeks burned as his question rang in her head. “Uhhhh I can't say I have.” A few minutes passed where neither spoke. This was the time where they would begin to get to know each other. Questions would be common and Casca knew she'd have to be honest. 

“Even Griffith?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you like him?” 

She paused. Her gaze shifted away from Guts and to the river bank in front of her. “I think the tides of war have changed him. He was once what you said but now he seems haggard and ready to spend his life with peace. Impatient seems to be the word I'm looking for. He's a man who would not love me back.” 

“I see.” Guts's face seemed grateful to say the least at Casca's words. She had taken his words into thought. 

“Are you going to be at the tourney tonight? There's supposed to be a jousting competition but I heard from the King that he wants a combat competition as well.” 

“Aye. I was planning on signing up for the combat. The reward seems hefty enough for me to get a small house in town.” 

“I was planning on joining as well.” Casca titled her neck as she narrowed her eyes. Guts turned to face her with a curious look to his face. 

“And what the hell would you do with 500 gold?”

“I'd buy you that house that you wanted!” 

“Hmmmm then I guess I'll have a hundred percent chance of getting that house then?” 

“That depends if I change my mind on the reward.” Her eyes glowed with a playful demeanor as she lightly chuckled. Guts rolled his eyes as he smirked. 

“May I ask what reward you'd want instead?” 

“I could buy a new sword.... or even possibly a new pair of boots.”   
Guts's eyes widened in a surprised manner. “That's some shitty reward.” 

“It is indeed!” She beamed with pride. 

“Damn now I gotta figure out how dedicated I am to winning.” Casca laughed loudly as she brought a hand to cover her mouth. A light flush came about her face as she continued to laugh. Guts smirked as he heard her laugh. It was the first time since he had heard her laugh. 

After she took a few breaths, Casca managed to say a couple more friendly words, “Yeah and I'll just beat your ass and laugh at you sleeping in the barn.” 

“The hell you will. Alright. I have a proposition. You win. You get your shitty sword.” 

Casca waited until Guts said what he wanted as a reward but not another word came from his lips. “What about your reward?” 

Guts nodded happily as he chuckled once more. “That I'm afraid is a secret. I mean the house is one of them but there's something else. That is if I beat you.” 

“Fine! Don't tell me!” Casca crossed her arms as she softly chuckled. “Now the question arises, what if we both lose? Then what?” 

“Hmmmmm.... I didn't think of that.” The raven haired male shrugged playfully. 

“I guess that means either of us is going to have to win... That works. Now that that is all settled lets ge-” Before Casca could continue a downpour of rain tumbled from the sky. A giddy scream echoed out of her lungs as she sprung up. Drops landed on her head and shoulders as she took cover near the trunk of the tree. The world grew colder as the rain collided with the earth. The ground soaked up the water with delight in it's intentions. Drinking it while it lasted. 

Casca's back was against the tree trunk as her chest rose and fell. Her exasperated scream somewhat left her breathless. She looked around to see if Guts was next to her but was shocked to see him standing out in the rain. His arms held open as his face looked up into the dull grey sky. Rain splattered his shirt but his face recognized the cold rain as inviting. A calm expression covered his face. 

“Guts?” She was concerned. His playful attitude had faded so quickly. To see such joy in him was oddly comforting. 

The male seemed to only think of Casca as the rain dropped on his upturned face. His heart hadn't felt this light in days. Nor did it feel so joyful. Being around her was a dream come true. Was this what love felt like? Being so happy that no expression, no feeling, could ever describe it? That's what it felt like. His heart burned with intensifying affection for Casca. He didn't know how to stop his actions. Without a word uttered, he turned to face her with eyes staring straight into hers. Those dark orbs that held so much beauty. Rain continued to pour around him but he didn't care. 

This is what love feels like. I'm glad to have found it. Guts thought to himself as he walked straight to the black haired female. Eyes never leaving hers as he dared not mess this action up. His first action of love. “Casca.” He murmured. Rain dripped down his face, it almost resembled tears. Tears of happiness. For that amount of time, Guts forgot who he was. He forgot his past and he lived in the now. There were no other words said as he took Casca's hand into his. The soft feeling of her skin rubbed against his rough fingers. They were awfully cold compared to his burning skin. “I'll never forget this.” He murmured. Looking down he saw the necklace pressed against her chest. 

“Nor I.” She replied with a soft tone. A slight blush running across her cheeks. 

Standing under that oak tree, they both felt safe in each others presence. Even as the rain increased they didn't bother to think of anything else but each other. A few minutes passed and neither had wanted to move. Casca finally straightened her shoulders as she exited the canopy and went to gather the items left from the picnic. Her hand felt cold as soon as it had left Guts's. It seemed they both had no idea what to do next. She felt awkward after holding his hand. The first sign of affection that he showed her. It was just a simple gesture but even she felt giddy. 

“Do you want to head back to the castle?” Guts asked as he helped her clean up the soaking wet blanket. 

“I think we should. The tourney is about to begin.” 

He nodded as he went to gather the horses. They seemed to be a little bit more dry but they didn't mind the rain. Toren's face was stuck in a heap of grass, enjoying his breakfast. Casca leaped onto Toren's saddle. Guts wasn't as graceful. She chuckled and turned the reigns around. “This time follow me.” Casca lead Guts around the encampment, to the farther edge. Tents pitched in rows upon rows until they got to the largest tent of them all. The ring. The jousting tourney would begin and after that the sword competition. Casca found an abandoned tent and urged Guts to follow. Inside there was a small fire and a few benches. A knights tent seemed to be the answer. 

It was then she felt her clothes sticking to her skin. Cold and wet. She shivered as she brought her hands to the fire. Guts's face looked sternly into the fire. “I'll be back with some dry clothes... But I'm afraid these are the only sorts of dry clothes I have.” 

“We really need to win that reward.” Casca shook her head as a small smirk crossed her features. “Are you fine with wearing some of my father's clothes again?” Guts nodded as he sat on the bench. 

“Better than no clothes.” He murmured as he took off his shirt. “You don't mind do you?” 

“Of course not!” Casca quickly gathered her anxious self to say those words as she saw his muscles shine against the firelight. “I'll be back.” Running out of the tent she hopped up on Toren to take a faster route back to her room. Guts watched her leave with little thought behind her passing and continued to pay heed to his health. 

It was then that Griffith walked into the tent. His white hair dappled raindrops as he marched his way in. Silver armor glinted in the faint light. Guts's heart stopped as he stood up and did a small bow. Fear filled his heart as he felt his hawk eyes piercing his soul. Casca was right. He wasn't the same as he used to be. 

“I did not see you there. I'm afraid this is my tent for the remainder of the day.” 

“I'm sorry, my lord. I was just getting some shelter from the rain. I will leave at once.” Guts did not look into his eyes as he exited the pavilion. A hand stopped him from going further. 

“If I were you. I'd stay away from Casca. She's going to be married to me and I know what you're up too.” His voice hissed. 

“I'm up to nothing, my lord. Casca and I were just taking the horses out for a stroll when the rain hit.” 

“Petty lies. Guts I am the Prince. I get what I want. I wanted to win the war and it was done. I want to marry Casca and I will have her hand in marriage. You either leave her alone or face punishment. Your choice.” 

Guts's hatred seethed under his skin as he pushed passed the Prince's hand and out into the rain. Eyes narrowed angrily as he marched away from Griffith's tent. He'd have to do better than that to tear himself away from someone he cared about. He wasn't about to let Casca get hurt by a maniac. 

“Also Guts.... I wouldn't tell her if I were you. Then you'd put her in more danger than yourself.” His honeyed voice spoke once more. 

Whirling around he stared, right at Griffith. His amber orbs burned a fiery gaze right into the Prince's. He dared not say any words. He dared not voice his opinion. Each thought that passed through his head was filled with a desire to smash Griffiths's face into several different objects. Without another word he left the tent in a blurring gaze of frustration. 

Casca appeared some short minutes later with her outfit changed and dry. She felt better now that she had warm clothes to survive the rain in. A sight befuddled her as she saw Guts marching away from the tent with anger in his eyes. 

“I got you a new fetch of clothes. Let's go inside a-” 

“No.” He growled as he took Toren's reigns from below. “We find a different tent.” 

Casca took a deep sigh, “Guts what happened?” 

Guts retreted from her gaze as he started walking towards another tent. “Nothing.” 

“Well something happened and you're going to tell me.” 

“Just some fucking knight thinking he could act all tough on me is all.” 

“Did you punch him?” 

“Almost.” 

“Don't worry about it Guts. He'll have it coming for him when the tourney begins.” Guts grunted a reply as he found a smaller tent farther away from the arena. This one had no luxurious fire and benches. Toren walked into the tent and shook rain water from his coat. 

Guts settled onto the ground with a heavy sigh. Casca threw him a new pair of trousers and a loose fitting shirt. Griffith's words still rang in his skull as he put on his dry clothes. How would he tell Casca? If he did, her life would fall to pieces. Griffith had power while Guts had a sword. He could ruin her life forever with one act.   
His heart yearned for her. The way she smiled and the way she was just herself. Everything about her excited him. Guts knew inside, that if he left Casca, he'd never be the same. He would never try for love again. Casca was the one who gave him a new start. The first smile he had seen since the war had ended. 

It beckoned to him like a horse to grass. He had to love her. There was no one else but her. Griffith would do something to ruin what he had come to love. Casca was tending to Toren at the time of Guts's thoughts. He loved her like a fool. A fool drowning in affection. “Casca...” He murmured to her as he slowly stood up. 

“Yes?” The slight tinge of curiosity in her voice sent shivers down Guts's spine. 

Guts wanted to express his feelings right then and there. His heart begged him just to spill out his feelings. Laying the cards on the table. His brain told him differently. “Would you like to practice? I could show you a thing or too?” 

“That would be splendid. Did you bring your sword?” 

“No and I'd rather not go back out in the rain.” More awkward silence came between them both. Guts had no idea what to do next so he stared blankly at the ground. His fingers twisting a few blades of grass. 

“How about I read you're fortune?” Casca's eyes widened as she scooted closer to Guts. 

“Uhh.. sure?” His eyebrows looked confused as Casca took his hands. Her small fingers grasped them palm up. Her eyes searched them for an answer. 

“This thick line down your palm, that one is your life line.” Her finger brushed lightly against his skin. Shivers ran up his arm as she touched his hand. “Yours is awfully branched out but it looks like you'll live a long life. See this one is your love line. It seems pretty normal. Oh but what's this?” Her finger stopped at a small point near his middle finger. “I haven't seen this before. It just branches in a straight line to your ring finger.... this is intriguing.” 

Guts's eyes became interested as he watched her focus. “What does it mean?” 

“True love... I've seen people have several branches since some people have found love at an early age but since you've been a warrior all your life, you haven't focused on that nonsense.” Casca hesitated before she continued. “And this line that runs on the side of your palm is how many children you will have....” Her finger tapped against his hand as she counted each individual line. “Uhh I sure hope you don't have 42 children.” 

“42? Damn. I sure hope that isn't accurate.” 

“There's this huge gash right here and I counted that as a mark.” 

“Yeah that was from an arrow. Nasty little things they are.” Casca chuckled as she brushed her finger against the faded mark. Guts felt another shiver up his arm as her fingernail scraped gently across his flesh. Guts knew she didn't mean to act harmful against him but at the same time it made his heart beat harder in his chest. “There might be a slight change in our chances of winning the reward.” How he managed to find room to breath while he spoke was a mystery to him. 

“Oh no. Guts we have to win!”

“I know but Griffith plans on being in the tourney. He's an excellent swordsman and will be hard to win against. I had a plan on beating him but that might risk the reward.”

“You aren't going to kill him are you?” 

“Why the hell would you say that? No I wasn't planning on it. He's been getting on my nerves lately and I want to show him a thing or two.” 

“I wouldn't mind giving him a couple hits myself. I think we have a chance at beating him.” Casca's neck rose with confidence as she smirked. 

“I think so too.” The trio enjoyed each others presence for a few more hours until the rain subsided. The tourney would then begin.


	8. When it began and when it ended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight scene and yeah some good and bad feels good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize if it feels very rushed at the end. I can't do fight scenes very well but I think this one turned out okay. ANYWAYS ENJOY

A horn blew across the land to signal the beginning of the jousting tourney. A soft hum grew louder and louder as the people gathered around. Knights rode on gallant steeds throughout the pitched forest. Banners in every color hung limply in the stagnant wind. Casca was anxious as she paced the back area of the arena. Her saber hung at her side. It took frequent demands to keep it there. The constant feeling of nervousness rang in her mind and all she could count on was her sword. She had gotten into her armor way too earlier than she would've liked. Not even her father knew she was in the competition. She had come up with a boy name to hide her identity in case she won over Griffith. 

Pacing nervously she bit her lip. Guts soon appeared wearing an unusual set of armor. Thick pads blocked his upper arm with a leather belt crossing over his stomach. The rest of his armor was a dull grey. The black haired male did not dawn a helmet as Casca did. “Why aren't you wearing a helmet?” 

Guts firmly stated as he planted his giant sword into the ground, “I'd rather the crowd know me by my face. I'm not to scared about sword blows either. I've gone through many battles without wearing one.” He gave her an apologetic smile as she saw her face still cross. His reasoning didn't seem to sway her. “Fine. I'll wear a helmet.” 

“Thank you.” The female retorted with a small chuckle. “You boys and your constant need to show off.” 

“We have to assert our dominance somehow. Especially for those of us who don't know our way with women. We pick the men off like anyone else.” 

“Oh? You aren't familiar with our womanly ways?” 

“Only from what I've seen from you.” Guts chuckled lightly as he picked up his sword. “It looks like you could let off some steam.” Casca nodded as she followed the familiar statue she had grown to know. The strong lined shoulders and back. Even if he wore armor she could still outline where his muscles traced his spine. “Do you know what the competition will be? One on one or everyone for themselves?” 

“The way things are going I'd say it would be against everyone. I'm a little bit worried about the combat though. The king will decide which weapons will be used and if there will be any killing allowed.” Casca narrowed her eyes as she crossed her arms in annoyance. “I find it absolutely ridiculous. I'm not killing anyone for the enjoyment of another.” 

“The king is not that way.” Guts replied as he continued walking. His footsteps were louder than usual, due to the amount of weight that the armor bore. “I assure you, Casca. I won't let anyone hurt you.” 

A gentle feeling emerged from her heart. Small at first but soon it grew. The edges of her toes tingled. The way his amber orbs flickered to life as he spoke with a pure ferocity. His words were true to him. Her heart raced in her chest as she smiled. No words seemed to come to her as she followed Guts. A thank you wouldn't be appropriate. Casca just decided not to say anything else in case she said something in the wrong. 

They ended up at a small clearing. Guts readied his sword with a small grunt. Casca drew her sword from her sheath and gave a sly smile. The one advantage she would have would be getting past his sword. The massive amount of steel shielded his entire body. How he was even able to carry such a massive weapon was beyond her train of thought. A few seconds passed where they both stared eagerly into each other's eyes. Who would strike first? That was the real question that ran through Casca's brain. Narrowing her eyes she readied her feet for a fell swoop to his side. At least that was the only weakness she could see. Guts had a strong upper body but his lower body wasn't as strong. That's where she'd strike. If Guts went first then she'd have the risk of his sword. 

A sharp intake of air and she was dashing towards him. Fast and swift she raised her sword. Guts was faster as he charged after her. Casca had her sword poised above her but she quickly changed he position of the blade. Her eyes turned downwards where Guts's legs beat against the ground. Guts saw her look down and quickly slammed his sword into the ground to deflect her blow. Casca easily slid around his giant sword and jumped on top of him to ease her blade next to his throat. “Dead.” 

Guts chuckled lightly as he turned his neck to look her in the eye. “I let you win.” 

“Pah! Sure you did.” Casca jumped down as she sheathed her blade. “At least my nerves aren't jittery. I have that to thank for.” 

Guts seemed pleased as he took his sword from the ground. “Wanna go again?” 

“Oh you want me to beat your ass again? Sure let's do it.” Casca walked to the other side of the clearing and readied her sword once more. This time Guts looked more serious. This time Guts took the first charge. His sword in front of him as he charged. Casca could dodge by rolling or try and block his attack. The likely hood of her blocking his attack was very slim. Taking her stance she ducked under his sword only to find his arm blocking her way. Casca tumbled to the ground to avoid being decked in the face. Her eyes narrowed as she dashed to his exposed back. The male whirled around and swung his sword to throw Casca's sword out of her hand. 

It was then she saw something in Guts's eye she never wanted to see again. His eyes blazed a burning anger as he gripped his sword. Was it because of the sword that caused him to become thirsty for blood or was it something different? She feared for her life as she lost her grip on her saber. It was just for a brief moment but after she lost, Guts's face returned to normal. He gently grabbed her sword from the ground and handed it back to her. “Sorry.” 

“Apologizing now? I hope you get your ass kicked in the tournament.” Casca grabbed her sword and shoved it back in it's sheath. “You could've killed me Guts.” 

“What's the matter? Are you crying because you lost?”

“Hell no! You just … nevermind.” Casca shook her head as she tried to get the image out of her mind. 

“I would never hurt you, Casca. Matter of fact, I don't even know if I could stand myself to see you hurt.” Casca looked earnestly up at Guts who had walked closer to her. His bright eyes were soft as he tenderly reached for her hand. “I don't know what would happen if one ounce of your beautiful blood was spilt. I'd rather not see what would happen.” The world slowed around her as she felt his warm hand pressed against hers. “I don't want to loose anyone ever again.” His words stung her heart as she felt the pain in his voice. The constant need to forget what he could not stop. 

“And you won't. You have myself and you to protect me. You don't have to be afraid.” She mumbled to him. Calming her breathing she stared into his eyes with burning honesty. Her heart was glad that she had him. Even if their love was fresh and new she felt safe. She could be who she wanted to be with him. That was what she wanted in life. To find someone who made her who she wanted to be. Pretending to be something she wasn't made her stomach ache. As she stared into his fiery orbs her heart thudded loudly against her chest. It became obviously clear to her. This was her future. Standing right there in front of her. Then it all settled in. The pieces fit together. “Protect me Guts, forever.” She whispered as she took a step towards him. There was no rhyme or reason as to why she was getting closer to him. There was a beautiful feeling nearing him. A sense of warmth and happiness swelling around Guts. 

Blurring images passed through her mind as she tilted her head up to stare ever so closely at him. Images of their first meeting and of the time in the barn. The peaceful encounter she saw. In her hands clasped the same scarred but gentle fingers that traversed her horses mane. In her line of sight was the same small smile she saw. Her heart swelled with a widespread desire. A kiss. She had never been this close to him. It was wonderful to gaze at every detail that dotted his face. The small scars that marked his face, his long eyelashes that slowly blinked in the misty light, and lips that had seen so much darkness. A frown seemed ingrained into his face but now there was a pleasant smirk. It seemed he knew what was about to occur too. The hand that clasped Casca's slowly left and cupped her cheek. A guide to her lips as they slowly touched. 

Casca's mouth burned with life as she felt his against her own. The last piece of the puzzle fell into place. As their lips left she could still feel them. Her heart pounded faster as she saw his calm expression. A small grateful look passed over his face as he smiled. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks as he rubbed his thumb on Casca's face. “Forever.” He managed to say through numb lips. 

It was their own form of expression. There was no saying of “I love you.” Just the way they both knew how to say it. That's what counted. Casca had made her choice and Guts had finally found the one piece missing from his life. 

“Now... who's ready to get that reward money?” Casca asked as an eager smile splayed on her lips. Guts chuckled as he picked up his sword. 

“Who cares about the money. I have no reason for it anymore.” Guts slowly looked over to the female and gave a soft smile. “I have you now.” 

Casca smuggly pushed him as a small laugh escaped her lungs. “So then... what reward do you want instead? You already have me so what else?” 

“Me and you, alone, and some dinner would suffice.” 

“I think that would be lovely.” 

They meandered through the line of tents to finally make their way to the arena. Already a huge crowd had gathered. People cheered and gambled over their favorite knight. Two horsemen were already going at it as they charged each other. Lances preyed the rail as the met their mark. Both swordsmen fell. Cheers resounded as the two duked it out for the title. Guts peered over the crowd to find where they had to go for the match. A somewhat large crowd gathered at the other side of the arena. Their outfits looked similar to the trio's. Armored up and ready to go. Some had some pretty frightening helmets. Now they had to wait. 

Casca could see in the noble stand, her father. Poised with delight as the jousters continued to battle. The thought of fighting in front of her father seemed to get her nerves up. Whatever he decided the rules would be, she'd have to obey. The cheers of the crowd echoed once more and the tourney was over. The gates were opened to let in the fighters enter the arena. Casca quickly pulled down her helmet and slowly entered into the fray. 

“I got your back.” Guts quietly mumbled as he threw his sword over his shoulder. The entire crowd had their eyes fixated upon the tall raven haired male. It was the sword that scared them all. Guts narrowed his eyes as he glared at the onlookers faces. Each one filled with awe and fear. Casca felt giddy inside as she stood next to him. Her sword at the ready. It was then that the King stood up. His white hair piercing the mist with an odd glow. 

“Rules go as follows, no biting, scratching, and no on purpose killing. You can use your own blade but please be cautious of where you put it. I don't want anyone crying over the dead. Punching is allowed and so is kicking. Last one standing wins 500 gold. Good luck and may God watch over you.” 

Casca suddenly felt the nerves rising back up. Her finger shook as she tightened her grip on her thin blade. She eyed all the competitors so see if she recognized anyone. It seemed none of the contenders were from Riker. This was going to be a little bit more strenuous. 

The horn blew and it began in a whirl. Her feet left the ground as she charged after one of the slower ones. Easy ones first and the harder ones last. A growl escaped her feet as she swung her sword at someone's legs. They toppled over and decided to lie in wait until the competition was over. A burst of adrenaline filled her legs as she dashed towards another competitor. Unsuspecting as he was already in the middle of a fight. Casca bashed the end of her sword on the knight's helmet. He collapsed in a heap of groans. Casca then saw her competitor. Griffith. 

His sword glinted in the faint light as he swung. He had no expression on his face. He seemed serene but when he saw Casca, his eyes grew larger. She then felt a cold chill spreading across her body. Those hawk-like eyes had seen what others could not. Tightening her grip on her sword she charged after him with little intent in her decision. Charging towards an excellent sword fighter with Guts not in sight. This was her chance. Defeating her potential other choice was the only option. 

Griffith twirled his blade around as Casca threw her sword to aim for the chest. A blow that would've been deadly. He slid his sword against her blade with a large slice. She hesitated for a moment to only feel his hard gaze piercing her. Casca angrily shoved her sword out from the grasp of Griffith's cold blade. She lunged once more to only have him dance out of the way with an erie chuckle. He was good but everyone had their flaws. It was then she didn't see it coming. A lunge. She had time to dodge it but she wasn't paying attention. Her eyes fixated upon his as she saw a flash of emotion roiling in his eyes. It suddenly stopped a few inches from her chest. 

“I had a choice Casca. I suggest you repay me for letting you live.” He spat out as he walked away. Casca narrowed her eyes. 

“I didn't ask you to lower your sword.” Casca stared intently at the somewhat stooped figure. 

“Hmm. No one has asked me to verse them again. Very well.” 

Griffith extended his arm to dangle his sword. His face serene. This time Casca did not charge. She thought things out like she did when her sword clashed with Guts's. How his stance was stable near his feet. Legs pinned together and his back straight. Behind was his weakness. Giving her sword a few more swishes she slowly made her way towards the Prince. Their swords met once more as they hacked and slashed. Griffith began to add more force to his blows but Casca was prepared. She had no idea what her next move would be. He seemed solid in all parts of his stance. 

“War has made you a good fighter.” She mumbled in between sword blows. 

“War has done many things. Even you aren't such a bad fighter. If you were an enemy you would've already been dug into the ground.” 

“You talk highly of yourself.” Her eyes tried to look around for Guts but she was afraid. If she dared get distracted she might lose. There was something odd about the Prince. He gave her a chance but she decided against her loss. Something dark crept into her heart. Fear. The fear of a sword piercing her chest. The feeling of cold steel pounding against her ribcage. The Prince's cold eyes pointed out that fact. 

“Why won't you see who I am Casca? I just want to reach out to you. You're all that I need to be King.” 

“I made my choice Griffith. I won't accept you. I void your hand in marriage.” Casca raised her sword and swung down. Her eyes peeled to his figure as her chest roiled in anger. Her blow would've been deathly. Her vision blurred and he was gone. Just like that. His white hair vanished. Then she heard it. A sharp whisper in her ear. 

“You will have to.” Casca's eyes widened as the fear crippled her soul. The fear of Griffith causing her life cascaded upon her. It was then she heard a large roar on the far side of the arena. The familiar face of Guts filled her heart. The feeling of admiration soared. The fear had left and now she felt brave. He was coming to save her and then they could be happy. Since she had ended her tribulation with the Prince. She was free from her decision. All of her thoughts ended as she felt it. The cold sharp feeling of something piercing her chest. It petrified her very being as she felt the cold creep into her body. Blood spilling out through the end of the blade. Griffith shoved more and more and the blade pierced right through. Every last ounce of air left her lungs as she felt her body protest this strange object. It was so bitterly cold as she begged for air. Anything to fill her lungs with reassurance. Death was so painful. Especially when you knew you'd be loosing someone in the process. 

Griffith removed his blade and Casca gurgled out a strange word as she felt her body go numb. She felt betrayed. Griffith having no ounce of compassion in his soul stared at her pitiful self. 

His face filled with rage as he roared. No longer did he care for his safety. His arms pushed men out of the way as he charged after Casca. Already cuts and bruises lined his bare arms but those didn't matter. He had made a promise. A promise to keep her safe. Already he had failed. Adrenaline pumped into his veins as he gripped his sword. A roar escaped his throat as he dashed through a crowd of fighters. A bloodlust rage. Nothing mattered. As he saw the blade pierce Casca he knew that there was only one alternative. Griffith. Turning ever so slightly he stared him down. 

“You can't kill me Guts.” 

“WATCH ME!” His voice was filled with a burning rage. None that could be quenched unless his desire was fullfiled. His feet pounded on the ground as he neared the form of Griffith. His blade stained red. Casca's blood. 

They both swung their swords. They both faught as the arena watched intently. Griffith's guards stood ready to take action if need be. One thing they all feared was the berserker. The raven haired male was crazy with anger. The world was blinded with red as he swung his giant blade. Griffith was fast but sooner or later he would tire. Then he'd strike. It was then that Griffith stumbled upon the still form of Casca. The blade fell and the feeling of flesh met metal. 

A large cry echoed around the arena as Guts withdrew his sword and raised it again. A hand thumped to the ground as blood seeped from Griffith's arm. His cold eyes widened with fear and a scream filled the air. “SOMEONE... KILL HIM!” Guards rushed in and quickly threw their arms around Guts to stop his second blow. His lungs heaved air as he growled. 

Casca had toppled over on her side as her vision became ever more blurry. The last image she would see was the bloodied figure of her lover. Regret filled her heart as she realized that she would no longer be spending her days with him. A deep longing filled her soul as her eyes slowly began to close. Questions danced across her mind but one last question rang true in her mind. Why?

“LET ME GO!” It was then the guards themselves knew they couldn't stop the raged man. He was stronger than they thought. 15 men held him down before he was captured. An animal he seemed. Casca's father rushed down to the fray as he tended to his daughter. Blood stained his jerkin as he tried to stay calm. Eyes burned hateful at Griffith who gripped his stump. Casca was quickly carried away to the castle. Guts's amber orbs flickered still as he gazed at Griffith. There was no comfort in his eyes. 

“You will pay for this you heathen. I will have your head on a stick by the end of tomorrow.” His face pale and ashen as he spat into Guts's face. The King had rushed to his son. His expression looked confused as to what just happened but he knew he would trust his son's judgement. 

“Try me.” The raven haired glowered. Calmer than he originally was. Unafraid of what was to come. He had gotten some vengeance for what he had done. Thinking of Casca he quickly whipped his neck around to gaze angrily at the prince. “I swear if you killed Casca I will make sure your life is a never ending cycle of hell.” 

Griffith pursed his lips as he waved an arm,“Take him away.” 

Guts lowered his neck as he stared at the ground. His arms tied in a thick shackle. Casca running through his mind. He would never stop thinking about her. The scene replaying in his mind and several ways he could've stopped the blade. Now he would be behind bars. Not being there for her when she needed him most. There was much to think about as Guts slowly walked to his prison. An unwanted future awaited.


	9. Gnawing Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually really proud with this chapter. I know I haven't been working on it as much as I have wanted because work buuuuut I do hope that this chapter is great :3 Have fun reading!

The silent body of Casca was rushed to the castle. Her father carrying her himself. Now that the fact of her injury was worrying him, his calm demeanor was gone. Fear suppressed through years of wrinkles. His only child, so cold in his arms. Nor did he care about the blood on his coat or the twisted ankle he received when he tripped over a loose stone. Why was she so cold? He screamed for the healer as he laboriously ran up the stairs. “Casca stay with me.... please... oh God...” The tears flowed as he set her on the bed. The healer immediately tended to her with a grave face.

“She's lost a lot of blood. I'll do what I can.”

“Pl-Please.... anything for my daughter.” Gripping her limp hand in his he gathered the courage to believe she'd be alright. She was strong. Stronger than he ever knew. The grimacing face of the Prince loomed in in his mind as he growled. He had a deliberate choice. A choice whether he should've spilled blood. Biting his lower lip he prayed for his daughter's life.

Regret. The one word that filled her soul as she opened her eyes. A white canvas filling her eyes until they burned. The brightest white that no words could fill her mind. It was odd, yet peaceful. She heard a faint noise in the distilling blanket of pure white. Her eyes wandered blankly until she saw it. The first ounce of color. A bright amber that shone gold. A figure stood tall and proud. The masculine face of Guts filled her vision. “You need to wake up.” He spoke sincerely. His eyes were oddly calm. The familiar flicker of fire wasn’t there. Casca suddenly felt a drawing sense back to the blank white walls. She didn't have to think of anything in that expanse. She could imagine anything. Paint a picture on those walls. A safe haven where her life felt at peace. She could paint pictures of her mother and father once again being happy. It was then her face fell. His face turned away from hers. The once bright gold color now turned into a faded grey. 

“GUTS!” Casca screamed as she raced after the now disappearing form. He was the source of light in her life. The fear of being left alone in such a strange place. If she stayed in a world where everything was perfect she would be missing out on the one thing she counted on. “GUTS DON’T LEAVE ME!” Her voice growing hoarse as she tried to catch up to him. The love of her life would soon fade away. Already she was missing his voice. His voice demanding her to wake up from this lonely dream. “Take me with you.” A burst of tears streamed down her face as she felt cloth in her fingers. The navy blue shirt he always wore. “Don’t… leave…” 

“Why would I do that?” He whispered as he slowly turned to face her once more. A hand traced her cheek to brush away her sorrow. Casca felt his warmth. A warm glow surrounded her as the color began to take shape. Now there were mixed colors of browns and reds. Each one forming into a separate shape. “Casca…” His lips mumbled. The warm glow faded as soon as it began. He was gone too. The feeling of his hand pressed onto her cheek disappeared and now she was left to wake up. 

A breath filled her lungs and her eyes snapped open. Her chest ached as everything began to take shape. Her bedroom. She could tell by the gentle flapping of her curtains. The window was open to reveal the sun streaming in. It felt oddly cold even though the sun provided a sense of warmth. “Casca?” A voice cracked awake. The familiar feeling of her father’s hand on her arm guided her to the present. “Are you feeling alright?” Her chocolate orbs saw a worried man. His wrinkles were more pronounced and bags sagged under his eyelids. She offered a weak smile to ease his trouble. 

“I’m fine… you could use some sleep.” 

“You’ve been in and out of a fever for 3 days…” He paused for a second. His eyebrows pinched together as his voice got quaky. “What Griffith did was unacceptable.” His lips pursed together as his hold on her arm grew tighter. “I just… I’m glad you’re okay.” He managed to say with shaky lips.   
“Father I’ll be okay. Griffith got what he deserved I’m sure. I just… need to know where Guts is.” Her father’s glazed eyes filled with tears as he stared into his daughter’s face. She had to know the answer. 

“Taken. Griffith made sure he was locked away. I’ve tried to go and see him but the guards have blocked my way. Casca I have some grave news. Griffith wants him executed.” 

Casca’s eyes flared up in exasperation. Her cheeks stained with anger as her nostrils flared. “When.” 

“5 days. The Prince wants to starve him out. Probably torture him if he wants.” His eyes softened somewhat as he held onto her hand. “You were mumbling the same name over and over again while you slept.” Casca stared at him quizzically. “Guts. You were saying Guts.” Her eyes softened slightly as closed them. 

No hesitation needed as she bit her lip. “Help me up father.” She whispered. 

“You young lady aren’t moving.” 

“I … I have to see him.” Pressing a hand against her chest she twisted her legs to feel the cold floor pressing against her toes. 3 days she had been asleep. 3 days leaving Guts to worry. “Please.” She begged with harsh eyes. 

“Very well.” Her father extended his hand and together they both walked towards the dungeon. Her father thinking about Casca’s relationship with the stable boy. It was an odd relief. His perception on the Prince never changed but to see his daughter have a fiery passion in her soul. He would help her no matter the price. A question arose in his mind as he cradled her arm over his shoulder. “Casca, do you… like him?” 

The strain etched onto her face ebbed away at his curiosity. “Very much so.” No hesitation in her words as she glanced into her father’s eyes. Her father saw her seriousness and smiled. 

“I will do whatever I can to help you. If it means getting you two out of here I see no objection.” Casca appreciated her father’s words. He was expecting some sort of emotion from her but nothing appeared. A small, content smile pleated her lips as she pressed a hand to her chest. 

No words came to her mind as her father’s words struck a cord. She just felt grateful. Grateful to have such a wonderful figure she could look up too. Then the ideal set in. Guts was locked away in an iron cage. Bars too strong to bend and a whole battalion of guards. Locking away the only thing she cared about. Even with her father’s help they’d never get him out. 5 days. “The only objection I see is how we are getting him out.” She mumbled as sweat dotted her forehead. 

“We have 5 days, Casca. It’ll be alright.” His comforting words smoothed a passage down her raw throat. “We’ll get him out of there.” Casca slowly nodded as their trip to the dungeon took a different turn. A turn for the worst. There he stood. The white ghost that haunted her memory. His left hand missing from his long sleeved shirt. His lips were once a bright petal color but now they were faded and pale. His hawk like eyes red rimmed with disgust. Casca froze in place when she saw Griffith. Her heart skipping a beat in fear. Her chest throbbed as she felt the blade sliding so easily into her flesh. Her father giving her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder to bring her back to reality. “You should be punished for what you’ve done to my daughter.” Her father thwarted out in anguish. 

“And what punishment would you bestow upon royalty? I am royalty. Killing the lineage for this country would only state your heart but not for the others.” His eyes peeled to Casca’s as a smirk creased his face. “I find it disgusting when nobles find love with peasants. You deserved to die on that field. However I will let you in on a secret.” His boots clicked against the stone floor. His face inches from Casca’s. “I’ll spare his life if you marry me.” She could feel his voice touch her skin as it prickled into absolute regret. Her eyes picked out the gentle curve of his lips as his tongue caressed his mouth. 

Her father’s voice echoed but she ignored his call. Casca pushed the prince away without another word as she made her way to the dungeon. Fear. The only emotion that she seemed to hate the most. Marrying him to save Guts. If that was her destiny she would have to accept. Her stomach rolled as memories passed through her. Each one a small moment when she felt pure awe and happiness. Most of them included Guts. The small smile she would often catch. Eyes widened in horror as her hand brushed against the cold stone. She no longer cared about her injury. Guts screamed in her mind as she held onto her chest. Bandages dotted with red. Her breathing was haggard as anger only filled her angered heart. Tears glistened once more on her face as she came to the end of the stairs. Her face faded with pain. Guards held their heads up high as they saw her. 

“Sorry my lady. You aren’t allowed down here.” 

Casca bit her lip as she shouted. “You will let me through or I swear I will rip your lungs out.” Her eyes drooped as she wiped the accumulated sweat on her forehead. The guards did not reply as they nodded. They were her guards after all. Only to be obeyed by the King, they still listened to the female. Her words proved to be more useful to them than some higher ups in the farther kingdoms. 

“You may pass, my lady. He’s in the 4th cell to the right.” Casca slowly nodded as she marched through them. Each cell passed slowly. Some filled with bodies of silent figures and some sat empty, waiting for their next victim. Then her eyes found him. 

A bloodied figure dusted with dirt. A horrible stench filled her nose as she gripped the iron bars. “Guts.” Her feeble voice seemed to find his name. The dark seemed to hide the rest of what he looked like. She could only imagine what they had done to him. He slowly opened his eyes to gaze at her. 

“C...Casca.” There was a slight shuffle of fabric as he scooted closer to the torch light. A gruesome sight filled her vision as she saw Guts. Thin, broken, and weak. His back was covered with bruises and his face was red with cuts. He seemed thinner. His cheekbones narrowed and skin a ghastly pale complexion. “I… I’m glad that you’re alive.” A scarred hand found it’s way through the bars to grasp Casca’s cheek. The tone in Guts’s voice was pure. His eyes were dull. No longer did she see the fire. 

“A-Are you alright?”

Guts smiled cheekily. “In better shape than you I suppose.” Silence filled the air as Casca stared longingly into his tired face. Guts’s throat felt dry as he remembered the white haired prince. His voice filling his dreams as he slept. The aching feeling of Casca only made him more upset. The guards wouldn't say if she was alive. That only heightened his anger. Hence the swollen face and torn up back. “Is he….” The male’s voice trailed off. 

“I saw him a few minutes ago…” Casca’s lips twitched as she tried to fight off more tears. The thought of Guts’s impending doom hung over her head. Iron bars prohibiting her from taking action. She beat her fist against the surface of the cage with a dull clang. Her hand throbbed. “I have to get you out of here. I can’t… lose you.” 

Guts’s face frowned as he drew closer to the sobbing figure of Casca. His hands wrapping around her fist. “I’ll find a way out. I’ll make sure I get to hold you closer. Someone’s gotta take care of your horses.” 

Casca’s heart ached as his words filled her with longing. She knew there had to be a way. “My father wants to help. I’ll come up with something…” Her chest smarted with pain as she grimaced. Guts grabbing her through the bars. 

“Go.” He ordered with a slight nod. The female did not protest as she slowly got up. “I will survive now that I know you are alive.” Casca took one last glance at the withered male. A promise she swore to herself. Anything she would do to release him. Should she tell him what Griffith said to her? That was the last course of action she’d take. Guts deserved to live a happy life. Even if it didn’t involve her, she’d make his life happier. That’s what hurt the most. Either she’d marry the man who tried to kill her or marry the man who loved her. 

No words came from her mouth as she began the journey back. How her heart didn’t want to leave him. How she never wanted to leave his side. Her chest throbbed with pain as she began to walk back towards the light. Leaving him behind in the swollen darkness. She bit her lip as she pressed on.


	10. Yearning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I feel like I just skipped some parts that I could've elaborated but it gets repetitive when you talk about riding on a frickin horse so I apologize. Also enjoyyyyyyyy

They flew across the grassland. The gentle pounding of hooves echoed in the still quiet air. Casca clung to her horse as the rocking seemed to make her chest throb with pain. Her chocolate eyes would look behind her slightly to see Guts. His eyes halfway closed and his hands clinging to the reigns. They were free. It finally set in once she saw the forest appear ahead of her. Once in the forest they were safe. Leaves whirred past them as the forest enveloped the escapees. Travel was slow but Casca was feeling safer the deeper they went into the expanse. Gut’s condition seemed to gain some positive effect when they stopped to water the horses. His swollen face had a sense of humor as a smile tried to form. 

“You still owe me that dinner.” Guts managed to say as he sipped on some water. 

Casca smiled as she tried to forget the dull pain in her chest. “That’s right.” She paced anxiously as the horses finished their drink. A worrying anxiety filled her mind. Even though dawn was approaching, any minute Griffith would be on the hunt. The finest dog hunters in this country, nipping at her heels. Guts would then be killed. Even though she was grateful for his presence, an ever longing thought of his safety loomed in her mind. “We should go.” She said climbing atop her horse. Her chest protesting. She bit her tongue so she wouldn’t cry out. She did not want Guts to worry about her condition as well as his own. 

“Aye.” The raven haired male agreed as he climbed aboard the horse with slight difficulty. They set off at nervous pace that changed with the woodlands. Fast in the open areas and careful in the tightly knit spots. They barely spoke. Casca too nervous to find any words to say to him. Griffith still looming in her mind. Marriage leaving a foreboding atmosphere. 

Their behavior passed far into the afternoon. The sun shining high above the trunks of the trees. At least it wasn’t bitterly cold. She had that to thank for. She did not want the darkness to come. Never did she want that. The night would only scare her more. Evening came and the sight of a village came into view. There she could get supplies and help heal Gut’s wounds. “I go alone. I don’t want the villagers to get suspicious of you.” Her voice hinted a clear tone of desperation as she hopped off her horse. Guts followed suit to stop her movements. A hand reached out for hers and he tugged her close. Casca ceased to persist as she longed to feel his comfort. To know that everything was going to be fine. They would escape and they would live to be happy. 

Fiery orbs stared longingly into hers. “We’re going to be okay.” His hoarse whisper sent shivers down her spine. The words mingling with her fears. Already she felt better. Griffith’s imposing figure faded away. The man who stood in front of her looked weary and tired but his presence was inviting. He tried to smile but quickly flinched with pain. Casca gently stroked his face. 

“A few more hours and I’ll clean you up.” Her tender voice said carefully.

Guts seemed to hum with delight as his eyes fluttered. “I’d like that.” 

The female slowly backed away from her lover and began to walk towards the village. People didn’t seem to give her any strange looks as she blended in with the crowd. It was a small farming village but had ample amounts of resources as it was close to the castle. The capitol far away. Casca quickly bought some food and healing supplies. It seemed like hours when she returned. Guts was in the same place he was and could tell she was getting jittery again. 

Hours passed and evening was passing. The bright sun glowed orange as it shown through the trees. Casca wanted to make up as much ground as possible but her chest protested. They made no fire and no shelter. The fear of the white haired satan only made her more and more anxious. Casca was tending to Guts’s face. The swelling had gone down but the cuts needed tending too. She focused on his wounds so she could forget the awful pain in her abdomen. A damp rag patted Guts’s face. 

“Tell me if this hurts and I’ll stop.” Casca said plainly as she dabbed away. He winced a couple of times but did not protest her efforts. They were quiet as she often caught his gaze. The fiery eyes staring with a off putting calmness to them. Perhaps blessed to be in her presence he was drinking her very movements. Every swipe of her gentle finger or maybe the silent gaze of his eyes put her at ease. 

“I know where we should go.” He spoke confidently. Casca titled her head in confusion. “I had a place before the war began. My parents house. It’s a long ride but we’ll be safe there.” Her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of them living in a desolate house. Beginning anew. A roof over their heads and night and just the two of them. The thought of peace warmed her heart even more. 

A small smile tickled her face as she spoke gently. “That would be lovely.” Guts’s usually hardened looks suddenly became soft. That gentle smile she always adored stared back at her. She didn’t want Guts to be enraged with hatred at what Griffith did to her. She didn’t want him to leave her. Even if it was for vengeance that she once had boiling in her heart. Seeing that boiling hatred in his eyes. She could never. 

Night soon fell and so did their conversations. Little talk came between each other as they both curled against each other. Guts’s body heat radiated off of his skin like a roiling fire. Casca did not fear the darkness for he was her light. The raven haired male however had a battle raging in his mind. He dared not pressure any questions about her injury. It was too early for any such issues. He showed kindness towards her but on the other side of his charisma burned a heavenly fire. The burning image of Griffith pinned against his consciousness that he could barely concentrate. If Casca said for him to forget the white devil then he would. What he had done to her was the one thing he focused on while in the dungeon. No fear of death, just the mingling taste of his blood. 

Wolves howled around and Guts felt the adrenaline pouring into his bones. If only he had his sword to get rid of his energy. Through the waning moon he caught a glimpse of her. Fast asleep, pinned to his chest. Her eyes gently closed as she dreamed. Hopefully she was not dreaming of Griffith. Guts’s heart slowed as he studied her sleeping figure. The sharp curve of her jaw line. The soft outline of her lips. A beauty in itself. Holding her close he slowed his breathing and let the calm air surround his mind. He forgot his anger and slowly slipped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probs gonna be a well deserved love scene coming up. PRAISE!


	11. I'm Here

Their adventure continued on for a few more days. Guts’s wounds slowly healed and so did Casca’s. They took their travels slower as each day progressed. The female’s worries began to drift away and slowly her attention to Guts became more focused. Griffith’s evil presence was fading away and now she could relax. Several towns slipped past them and one thing still haunted her. A wanted poster of Guts. 500 gold pieces for his head. He would have to stay low until they reached their destination. The small house she tried to imagine in her head. It was only a few hours away and already Casca felt excited. 

The air seemed to swirl with a positive energy. Every blade of grass twitched as a spike of wind soared through the air. The wind was a bit chilly as autumn seemed to be fast approaching. It would be hard at first. Hard to begin a life anew. Clutching the cloak around her neck she gazed into the wilderness with eyes wide. Searching for something. She suddenly looked beside her to see the peaceful man riding proudly on his horse. A subtle giddiness was slowly lifting to his face and for the first time in a long while a chuckle escaped her throat. 

Guts turned to face her and smirked as she saw her happiness. This was it. A life he had always dreamed of. So far they had come. “Let’s go.” He urged his horse into a faster pace as he started to become anxious. Hopefully the house wasn’t in complete shambles. Wind ravaged the large expanse of grassland that filled her eyes. Gold grass that whipped around in a frenzy. Far below the gully was a small little hut, tucked away into the vast landscape. Barely noticeable as it sat pinned near the beginning of more treeline. 

His eyes widened as he galloped towards the house. His childhood memories soon began to flood his mind. The days he spent sword fighting in the front lawn, helping his mother with the chores, hitting weeds by the river, and so many more. A smile spread on his face as he slid his horse to a stop. Feet padded down to the ground as he gathered his surroundings. The house didn’t look too misshapen but the roof needed a lot more work done to it. A project he would take into great consideration. Feeling a presence near him he turned to face the warm heartfelt feeling. Her smile was beautiful. Quaint but the world seemed brighter now that her happiness was shining through. A little bit of hope filled his heart and for once he felt grateful. 

“Well what do you think?” He asked with a sly smirk. 

“Not exactly a castle but it’s perfect.” Casca could finally breath. Her mind at ease as her mind began to play images in front of her view. A future that could be. Griffith’s clutches were far away. She would never see him again. “Let’s go inside.” Her eyes lit up as a playful giggle found it’s way through her voice. She rushed towards the door and slowly peered inside. Dust and broken windows lay scattered around the small house. A fireplace stood near the doorway. It was pretty lonely in the building but she knew in a matter of time that there would soon be a fire flickering in the cold nights. This was home. Their home. 

The day was spent preparing the house for the night. The roof would have to wait until everything was accounted for. Casca used some of her clothes to clean the dusty furniture. Some of the bare necessities were lying around which was good. Guts’s family seemed to have left in a rush. He barely spoke about his past. She only knew of the path he chose as a warrior. Before that she knew nothing. She saw him peering into the fireplace and suddenly felt strange being in his presence. An unfamiliarness filled the air. 

“I don’t mean to be nosy but do you know what happened to your family?” She didn’t want to upset him with such a question. Her tone was careful so as not to show him differently. 

A sigh filled the room as he turned to face Casca. A look of confusion filled his face as he spoke, “No.” That single word seemed to have been filled with so much pain as he turned back to the fireplace. “I left before anything happened. I heard men talk about a band of mercenaries wandering the wastelands, capturing families and selling them to slave traders.” He paused. “I can only hope they are alive again.” 

“We can carry on the legacy of them by living here.” Casca said as she tenderly placed a hand on his arm. It was warm. 

“I-I’m going to get some firewood.” He hurriedly left the house without another word. Did she say something wrong? To upset him? Casca bit her lip as she instead continued to clean while Guts chopped away. A dull thud in a constant beat. It was oddly relaxing. The air suddenly became cold. Autumn was fast approaching and a gnawing ache filled her stomach. What would they do for food? Usually by this time, farmers were preparing to begin harvesting. They had no source of food. No source of living. Her mind wandered as worrying thoughts spilled out into her actions. Her hands slowed and gripped the dirty cloth. They would be fine. 

He returned a few short minutes later. His arms bundled with split wood. It seemed she could find comfort in his movements. They were weary as he slowly placed the wood into the fireplace. Small cuts covered his hands. He never looked at her when he came back inside. “I’m sorry.” She apologized slowly. “What I said back there, what I asked, was something I shouldn’t have brought up. I just got curious…” 

“Why the hell are you apologizing? Casca I’m not bothered by it.” His honeyed orbs stared at hers with a mix of questioning. 

“I- I thought you were angry with my nosiness.” Casca felt afraid for a second as his figure loomed closer to hers. His boots scuffing the floor as he towered over her.   
“Never. I would never be angry with you.” His deep voice smooth as it made her shiver. “I was just worried about the future. How I’m going to keep you safe?” There was a slight pause as Guts raised a hand to cup her cheek. “How am I going to love you?” 

Her eyes fluttered as she felt his hand graze her skin. A calmness filled her chest as she held onto his hand. Was this the moment? The moment she craved with an awful tug to her stomach. Appearing moments faded into her conscious. “You are right now.” She spoke slowly as she stared deeply into his eyes. 

He smiled as his face neared hers. Lips met one another's in a soft dance. Calm but brought a fire to Casca’s lungs as the world plunged into a world of completeness. His mouth left hers as he lingered near hers. His breath tickled her cheek as he whispered in a gruff voice. “Now I am.” Her breath halted as his words made her heart seize. 

A few short seconds passed where their eyes gazed at each others for what seemed like years. Quiet breaths passed like a whisper as no words came between the pair. None were needed as they embraced the moment of silence. 

Snapping back to reality, Casca somewhat retaliated as her body flinched. Something hindered her mind from exploring this wonderful feeling. The scar that kept it at bay. Griffith held her back. The constant feeling of regret and anger filled her mind. All she wanted was for Guts to heal it. She wanted to love. 

“Are you alright?” Guts asked as his eyes stared into hers with a taste of confusion. She nodded as a quick sigh escaped her lungs. 

“Just my chest is all. You got my heart racing.” She chuckled to ease his mood. How would she tell him? Explaining such mundane thoughts seemed strange in her mind. Someday she’d tell him. 

“Take it easy. I’ll make us some supper.” Easing her mind she propped her back against the wall and tired focusing on Guts. The time she saw him in the barn. That moment she craved and longed for that same feeling once again. To feel at peace. The meal was small as supplies were scarce but seeing him trying to make a soup was comforting. Scarred fingers found a quiet likness. He paused for a brief second as he stared at Casca. “Something is bothering you. I can tell.” 

“I’ll be fine.” She gulped as she pressed her hand against her abdomen. Not now. Expressing her dark mind was something she had not planned. “I have many a thing to sympathise but now is not the time.” 

His brows furrowed as he forgot the soup and strode towards the grim female. His voice soft and endearing but his eyes burned a ferocity that she had longed to see. “I understand but I want you to know that my heart is yours. You don’t have to tell me what is on your mind but I will protect you.” His hand pressed against her abdomen lightly as his face grew solemn. “What he did to you… he will pay…” 

“I don’t care about that! Revenge isn’t the answer Guts. What he did to me was the worst thing but I’m over that. What I’m worried about is us. He ruined something in me that I can’t seem to repair. I’m always afraid of him. Afraid that he could ruin what I have come to love.” Tears stung her eyes as her abdomen throbbed. “I’m always afraid….” 

Breaking down she pressed her head to his chest as tears trickled down her cheeks. Guts shushed her tears as he pressed his lips to her head. She had every reason to be afraid of Griffith. They stayed like that. In a small embrace that spoke words of hidden meaning. Bodies pressed together so tightly. Neither begged for the other to let go. Casca shuddered as her heart began to ache with fear but already she felt better. Letting her expressions out was enough for her to feel better. Now that Guts knew her struggle she could let him help her. 

“I’m here, Casca.” He whispered her name as a hand slid up her arm to cradle the back of her neck. “It’ll be alright.” Her heart swarmed with a feeling of warmth. He was here. A silent guardian. Their embrace never faltered as the night wore on. Slowly her heart began to heal. Slowly she began to forget the white haired demon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the length of time it took to write a short chapter ;u; life has gotten hectic but hopefully things clear up soon c:


	12. Into Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! After so long ;A; I apologize! Hope you enjoy it!

Quiet filled the air as Casca slowly awoke. All she remembered was the everlasting embrace. Tears stung her eyes as she blinked. The sun shone brightly through the windows and a dull thudding noise was heard. Curious she slowly got up from the worn floor. Guts’s shirt lay on the ground in a sad display of a mattress. Smiling anyways, she peered out of the doorway to see him hammering nails into pieces of wood. 

His back dotted with sweat as pieces of wood scattered all around him. It seemed he was hammering with so much force that the wood snapped. She could hear his gnarled grunts as he got more and more furious. After what happened last night, fear did not rise in her stomach. Glancing around to look at the landscape, she stared in awe. Trees swung a fair distance away as she heard the bubbling of a brook or a river. A surreal environment. Griffith would never find them here. 

“Guts?” Casca asked as she began to walk towards the figure. He shuddered for a second as he set his hammer down on the ground. 

“And now she awakes.” Arms crossed over shoulders as he chuckled to himself. “Glad to see your fairing better.” 

A smile creased her lips as a ray of sunshine met the tips of his raven hair. “Here. Let me help.” Taking the board, nails, and the hammer she went over to an unpatched wall. Giving the nail a few whacks the board was set in place. Guts stared at her quizzically as he tried to figure out what he did wrong. Taking another board she did the same thing. 

Giving up on repairing the house, he decided to fix up the inside of the living space. When Casca was near a window she would see him stare plainly at a corner in the house. Probably a memory of something that happened long ago. She even caught him smiling once. It meant something to the female as she watched him from afar. A warm feeling crept up into her heart. He had a life before war. A happy one by the smile on his face. She kept that feeling in her mind as she busied herself with hammering away. 

The day went on as usual as the small house began to take shape. However supplies were in a horrible state. Food was scarce. It was noon when Casca decided to venture towards the village. “What all do we need?” She asked Guts as she readied herself for the journey. 

 

“Anything you can carry really. Blankets, food, and maybe a new axe if you can carry it.” His neck craned behind him as he took in what else was needed. “My family left behind most of everything, however, I do want to start a farm as soon as possible.”

“It’s nearly autumn though, Guts. How will we grow anything?” 

Guts smiled cheekily as he kneeled down to observe the ground. “Carrots, onions, some types of cabbages, and beans as well. My parents grew them during the cold months. We had profit in our pockets all year round.” 

Casca puffed up her attitude as she crossed her arms. “Very well. I will get the seeds and you start tilling the land.” Without any further acknowledgement, she jumped atop her steed and began to trot towards the small cluster of buildings far away. Looking back only once, Guts stood over the land as he prepared for the breaking of the ground. 

Even while she rode, peace surrounded her. The trees seemed to sing to her as the wind rustled their branches. Autumn was coming. There was no fear in that aspect. She was with Guts. The horses jaunt however still pained the wound on her chest. She knew it would never fully heal. A scar to remember. How close death had felt. It’s cold tendrils leaped at her fingertips as it’s memory came and went. Shivering, she moved her mind past the darkness. 

The village was quiet. It was then she knew she had to come up with a lie. Something to keep the villagers from speaking out. If Griffith came to this village the people would point towards the small house at the base of the valley. Hunters probably? That could cover them at least through autumn. 

The merchant was old and creaky. He offered a weathered smile as Casca walked into his building. “Welcome, lass. What cen I do ye for?” He didn’t seem to question why she was here. She was here on business and he respected it. 

“Blankets, uhhh maybe some food as well, if you have any seeds as well I would take some.” Casca felt nervous. This felt odd requesting such odd things. The old man thought differently as he took her to the back storage room. It was filled with odds and ends of assorted items. 

“Blankets are over on the back wall over there, food is to the left and seeds are in the far right corner. I’ll be waiting in the front room when you’re ready.” He smiled at her and walked away with a slight gimp in his walk. Casca nodded after his figure as she made her way to the assorted items. 

A few short minutes later, she returned to the store owner laden with the objects Guts proposed she get. The old man smiled as he observed the wares. “15 gold.” Casca smiled and graciously handed him the money. Bartering was not up her alley and money wasn’t a concern for now. The man didn’t ask her anything further and she quickly left the building. Arms filled with supplies. Pausing for a moment she stared at the landscape around her. 

This is where Guts grew up. It was hard to imagine a tinier version of him running around being a tyrant. This was his world. What his eyes drank up each day as he ventured around this area. She’d have to question him about his adventures tonight. A calm smile greeted her lips as a hand pressed against her horse's neck. This was her home now. Where Guts grew up. 

A few short minutes later, she saw the small house in the valley below. Guts had gotten busy as the house looked repaired, to some extent. He was out chopping more wood as she arrived. Turning around he shielded an arm over his face to see a beam of light cascading on her form. The evening sun already falling through the sky. He paused for a moment as Guts saw her descend from her horse. 

Even though she was not a warrior, her very presence sent a strange feeling down his spine. The fact that Casca riddled him with a puzzling emotion made his heart thud. In those few seconds of quietness he saw something strange in the woman. How much she had grown in the past couple of days. Her fear practically riddled away with a few meaningful words. Guts scoffed to himself to think that she trusted him this much. 

Then he paused as he knew he meant them. With every ache in his chest, he lived by those words. Never again would he let her go. Blinking slowly he reached out to her. No reason as to why that specific movement entered his mind. His chest began to beg for something. All of a sudden, every emotion rose up into his throat. He wanted to tell her everything. Her warm flesh touched his fingertips and he drew her in with a soft kiss. 

He said no words as he left her lips to stare into her eyes. Everything was perfect. A small smile gifted his face as he saw Casca’s cheeks rise up with a faint blush. She was braver than he would ever be. 

They stayed like that. Moments turned to seconds as their whole world involved each other. Moments of pure bliss that soared in their hearts. Whatever life had in store for them, he knew they would be together. Far from the clutches of darkness, his heart had finally found what it had been looking for. Peace.


	13. Trees of Fire

Days turned into weeks and the bloom of autumn was now in effect. Trees dappled with rays of gold and burnt red, blew in the faint wind. Winter was coming and Guts’s attitude had changed. Worry now creased his brow with each passing day. Nothing had grown. Either the soil was infertile or the timing was off. What they had managed to scrounge up was minimal at least. 

Casca had gone to the forest nearby to gather herbs. She thought at least medicinal products could sell if the crops did not grow. Draped in a dark green cloak, her knees settled onto the cold ground. Hands searching for familiar plants on the forest floor. Life was treating them fairly well. However the scar on her chest still throbbed with a dull pain. She had to be more careful with her walks through the day. 

As her fingers roamed through the foliage, her mind traveled elsewhere. Every so often she would find herself thinking of the tall male. His care and affection was warm. Now, however, things were changing. Even she could tell he was worried about the future. His lack of warmth during the nights only sent nightmares to her dreams. He never slept or ate as he was always working. Preparing for the inevitable. Sighing, she quickly gathered the supplies and began her trip back to the house. 

She had much to thank Guts for. Pursing her lips in deep thought she decided upon an idea. “You’re working too hard. It’s time I treat you to something.” Talking aloud to herself calmed her mind. A small smile creased her lips. “Maybe then you’ll kiss me once more.” A task was set out and she scrounged around the forest once more for herbs. A feast she would prepare for the over tasked Guts. 

The afternoon came quickly. If this was to happen, she would have to prepare now. Boots pounded on the ground as she jogged back to the house. Breath was leaving her lungs faster now. Getting more and more agitated with herself she saw the house on the horizon. Smoke looming from the chimney in a warm inviting way. Next to the house sat a rather large shed which held all their supplies. Food, wood, farming equipment, and the large sword that Guts never left behind. It couldn’t fit in the house so he threw it into the shed with some hesitation. Towards her left stood the small building which held Toren. The black stallion she adored with all her heart. He had his own fenced area with which to roam. He seemed at peace as he munched on the grass. Black tail swishing delightfully. Guts's horse was a chestnut mare. Maybe someday they would have foals. Not now though.

Another sight filled her eyes. Guts fast asleep next to Toren’s barn. His eyes closed and mouth wide open as he dreamed. A small blush filled her cheeks as she smiled. Making sure as not to wake him, she draped her cape over his body to keep him warm. This was the perfect time to get the surprise ready. 

Casca bustled about the house getting ingredients and throwing things into a cauldron over the fire. A hearty soup. With some candles on the table and flowers. In the middle of letting the soup warm up, Casca hurriedly changed clothes into a dress she had bought a long while ago at the merchant. A deep orange. The color of autumn. Brushing her hair to a shine she took a look outside. Gut was up and about now. He rubbed sleep from his eyes as he grasped the cloak with one hand. 

On second thought. Maybe the dress wasn’t such a good idea. Another idea sprung up into her head. Quickly throwing clothes too and fro she settled back onto her dark brown pants and olive colored tunic. A little sword training could do them both some good. It would at least give the soup more time to simmer. 

Stepping outside, she stepped into the barn and took out her saber. Guts watched her mysteriously as she hovered by the doorway. She waved her sword in slashing motions at imaginary targets. 

“The hell you doing?” He asked with a hint of speculation. 

“Practicing! It’s been near a month since I picked it up. I’d rather my sword skills not be dull when winter comes.” 

The male nodded as he walked towards the forest and picked out a sturdy branch. “I knew from one swing you needed help.” Casca scoffed as she lashed her sword out once again. “You look like you have a stick shoved up your ass! Like this.” Guts showed her with an air of confidence as he swung his branch in a high arc over his head. Stopping to the base of his hips. His back in a straight line. The force of the movement brushed air into both of their faces. 

Casca mumbled to herself as she straightened out her legs and back. Of course she knew the real stance but wanting Guts to help her out was key. Looking back over her shoulder at the twirling smoke above the chimney, she knew that the raven haired male had to stay away from the house. 

Guts eyed her form. One hand grasping his chin as he rubbed his face in concentration. “Good good. Now swing.” She swung but almost fell over as her stance felt off and wobbly. Now that she did not fake. He caught her as she was falling and chuckled. “We have a long way to go.” 

“I’m not that rusty!” Casca retorted as she escaped his grasp to stand up once more. Her eyes poised in concentration as she grasped onto her blade. Knuckles bared white in frustration. Guts’s smile was very apparent as he stood behind the female. A hand placed over her shoulder as the other roamed down to her hips. 

“You’re as stiff as a board.” He mumbled into her ear. Casca flushed and pretended not to notice his critic. “Relax.” He whispered. Casca felt her ears burn as his voice shivered down her spine. She did as she was told. Muscles went limper and she felt at ease. “Good. Now take a breath and imagine a foe in front of you.” 

Breath filled her lungs as she closed her eyes. Who she imagined almost frightened her. Eyes opened as the air left her chest. Tall and proud stood the white haired Prince. Eyes of bright blue seared straight into her soul. She heard Guts’s voice once more but it sounded faint. Blood was rushing to her ears as she swung her sword. The arc perfect as it aimed for it’s target. Casca’s vision blurred for just a moment until she felt the pain. The scar on her chest flared. She felt no air filling her lungs as she fell onto the ground. 

A voice sounded distant as she tried to breath. Everything was turning into darkness. Alone, cold, deserted, and frightened, she felt hopeless. Eyes trained on the bright blue sky above her and the familiar face of Guts painted against the blue expanse. His face a mask of more worry as she tried to pinpoint what he was saying to her. 

Seconds seemed like hours to Casca as she lay on the grass. Formless and pale. Eyes welcomed the movement as they closed and the world fell into darkness.


	14. None too Gently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie this is probably my favorite chapter ;A; ALSO IT'S NSFW SO PLEASE BE AWARE! It's very tame I made sure. Almost a poetic love scene I guess but yeah. The long awaited love chapter is here ;D ALSO THE TITLE OMFG IM DED LOLOLOL yeee enjoy c:

A hot searing pain awoke her. Guts cradled her head as he woke her up. “WAKE UP DAMN YOU! CASCA!” He screamed. His forehead dotted with sweat. As she blinked awake, Guts calmed his breathing and whispered words of thanks to someone or something. Everything felt cold. 

Casca offered a smile to Guts and mumbled, “Thanks…” The man sighed with a hint of weariness. Knees spread on the ground as his form hovered above the unmoving body of Casca. He said not a word as he carefully picked her up and took her into the house. “No no no no…” Her voice trailed off as she begged him not to go inside. “Not yet. It’s not ready.” 

He took that as an even worser sign of wear as he marched faster towards the building. Shoving the door open he took in the smell of the soup. Sniffing he looked down at the female. She blinked up at him and smiled. “Y-You made this?” He stammered in confusion. She nodded as she offered a bigger smile. 

“Put me down.” She wiggled her legs, trying to escape his grasp. 

“Not yet you don’t.” He placed her on the bed and covered her with the thick blanket. “You need to rest.” 

“B-But I made it for you!” Casca decided to prove the point that she was faring better. Sitting up on the bed she clapped her arms over the blanket and pouted. “You’ve been a worry wart for the past week! You haven’t slept, not even touched food, and have completely ignored me! I’m tired of watching you worry.” Her voice cracked as she tried to keep her composure. “I tried to surprise you with a good meal.” She paused as she placed a hand over her chest. “I guess… it didn’t turn out as I had planned.” The dull pain was back as she sat up on the bed. 

Guts stared at her with a strange expression over his face. It almost looked as though he was amused at this devious plan. He felt Casca’s words ringing true to his behavior. For that he owed her more than just sword practice. 

“Well you got the, ‘didn’t turn out as I had planned,’ part right.” He sat on the edge of the bed. Hands clasped together as he tried to find the right words to say. “I’ve just been worried about you. Just as much as you’ve been worried about me. I fear for us in the next few months. I’m not a farmer nor am I a good lover. You deserve better than this.” Casca’s mouth opened to retort but he stopped her with a finger pressed to her lips. “However, I’m learning.” His amber orbs gleamed as he stared into Casca’s eyes. “For days I have missed your touch but I was afraid to be close to you. I was afraid you didn’t want me so I tried to make sure that you would stay. I wanted to be perfect for you.”

“Now I realize that none of that mattered to you. You cared about me just as before. I was a lowly stable hand and yet you treated me with the respect of a noble. You didn’t care about titles or where they came from. You cared because of who they were.” Casca’s eyes brimmed with tears as she grasped his outstretched hand and pressed it to her chest. 

Guts moved closer to comfort her. Foreheads pressed together as he stared into her dark eyes. The words Casca had longed to hear were spoken with dignity and honesty. His amber eyes flared up once they were spoken. “I love you, Casca.” Making his words a bond, he kissed her gently. His cheeks feeling the warm tears mingling with his skin. A longing filled his chest as he pressed his lips against hers. 

Time was slowing as each of their hearts beat faster and faster. Nothing mattered anymore, except their love, sparking to life. Each of them both begged one another for more as they couldn’t stop their minds from entering into an unknown region. Guts’s lips traveled down to her neck as he cradled her close. He would be gentle. He craved this more than anything. 

Casca’s cheeks burned with a deep flush as she steadied her breathing. Why did she have to pass out a few minutes prior? She was afraid to extend herself more than what her body was willing to give. Guts seemed to read her mind as a hand settled over her heart. “I’ll be gentle. If you want me to stop I’ll-” 

“No..” Casca replied instantly. “I need you Guts.” At that remark his lips pressed harder against her neck. Casca’s fingers tried to take off her tunic. He stopped her with a coy expression. 

“Let me treat you.” His voice taking a sensual tone. Casca’s heart throbbed against her chest as she felt Guts’s fingers slowly untying the rope that held the cloth together. She studied his calm face. His cheeks rosy. It made her feel giddy to see a burly man blush. The cloth fell away from her body and immediately Guts attacked her chest. Casca felt her whole body respond to his actions. 

Everything felt alive. The hair on her arms seemed to tingle. Guts roamed down towards her breasts. Lips hovered over her heart as Guts went to work on her pants. Those were a lot easier to get off. With a slight giddiness at his success he took a look up over to Casca. Her face no longer looked pale but instead a deep red. Everything felt hot. Taking this chance he yanked off his shirt and Casca’s eyes blazed up with life. 

The memory of the dance filled her mind. The night she saw him for who he was. A soldier garbed in scars. Hidden behind a disguise. Casca felt alive. The man before her loved her. She didn’t care about the throbbing scar on her chest. That no longer mattered as the man in front of her protected her. She yanked off her boots. “Guts…” Casca murmured as she crawled over to him. Guts was currently preoccupied with his booths to notice her movement. Her arms wrapped around his chest as she greeted his skin with light kisses. 

“Do you need to stop for a while?” He asked as he let her lips flutter against his neck. 

Casca’s voice sounded soft and timid, “I’m starving.” 

Guts stood up slowly and kicked off his boots. Turning to face Casca he offered a hand. “This way my lady. Supper awaits.” Casca giggled as she grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. 

“My lord.” Casca acknowledged with a bow as she stepped off the bed and let Guts lead her to the fire. There the soup bubbled. The smell made her stomach growl with hunger. Wrapping the blanket around her form, she settled on the floor and let Guts serve her the soup. He nestled against her with two bowls. Casca draped the blanket over his towering form. 

The pair sat in silence as they devoured the food. Their bellies warm. Casca tilted her head to lay against Guts’s arm. Both entranced in each other’s thoughts. They watched the fire flickering against the cauldron. Casca turned her body to face him. She grabbed his hands and urged him to face her. 

“I just wanted to say this before I forgot. We’ll be alright. We have enough food to last winter. If we need too I can make potions before the snow settles to at least get us funds. Everything doesn’t have to fall on your shoulders, Guts. I can help carry the burden.” As she was saying those words he turned to face her. His eyes glowing brightly and a small smile spread on his face. His eyes roamed over her body. Examining her frame against the firelight. 

A slow nod followed. “Very well. A burden to carry by us both. I think I can wrap my head around that.” He gave her hands a tender squeeze as he leaned in for another kiss. Their lips met softly with care. He whispered into her cheek, “I am going to stoke the fire. I want us to be warm for the rest of the night. When I come back I will kiss your lips once more.” 

Casca chuckled and kissed him again. A playful groan escaped her throat. “You leave your lady here all by herself? What if a ghost takes me away?”

“Then I’ll find that ghost and tell it to chop us more firewood while I make love to you each evening.” 

“Fine! If you must tend to the fire!” Casca pushed him away with a little snicker. He got up and went to get more firewood. She liked the coziness of the fireplace. She decided to stay put and wait for her lover to return. Preoccupying herself, her hands grasped the blanket and spread it over the floor. The thick cloth provided some comfort from the hardwood. 

Then she waited. Her body sprawled on the floor as she watched the fire. It’s tendrils seeking more fuel as it turned into coals. This was the moment. She couldn’t wait for the thumping of her heart and the feeling of Guts kissing her once more. Her eyes closed as she waited patiently for him to return. 

She felt his lips kiss her scar. Eyes blinked open as she turned her neck to gaze at the black haired male. “I’m glad to see a ghost did not take you away from me.” He muttered into her chest. 

“Too bad. It was getting quite cold without you.” She beckoned him with a finger under his chin. “Maybe we don’t need a fire to keep us warm.” 

“Is that a challenge?” Guts hummed as he stared into her eyes. A coy smile greeted his face as he kissed her slowly. Casca’s fingers trained through his thick mane of hair as her thighs tightened around his chest. She felt so small compared to him. A mouse compared to a lithe cat. 

Soon their bodies were trapped in a blanket of fire. Their frames locked together in a grasp of affection. Clinging to each other for dear life, neither of them wanting to let go. Guts hovered over Casca, pinning her to the floor. His lips burned with overuse as he dared to not stop loving her. 

Casca felt immense ecstasy as she felt her hips buckle under his. Her legs spread wide as she welcomed him closer and closer. A sharp moan escaped her throat. The dance begun between the lion and lioness. Their skin meeting each other's like the crack of lightning. Each motion performed fogged their minds. Blending images into thoughts of each other in a stunning painting. Their dance ended with one swift motion and Guts collapsed on Casca. Both out of breath as they came back to the real world. 

The sky was growing dark. Nightfall was coming earlier and earlier. They both felt alive in each other’s arms. “Guts…” Casca mumbled as she gained her composure. “That wasn’t very gentle.” 

Guts laughed as he rolled over onto his back. His arms quivered as the adrenaline slowly disappeared. “You’re just too beautiful. I couldn’t resist. Plus your face was as red as the autumn leaves outside! I quite enjoyed that look.” 

Casca slapped him playfully on his exposed chest which made him chuckle louder. “I could say the same thing about you!” She sat up and lay her head on his chest. A content sigh escaped her lungs. Silence filled the room until Casca turned to face him. His eyes were closed and she saw a smile on his silent lips. Stained red and bruised from their encounter. Nestling closer to him she closed her eyes and felt at home. Sleep overcame her consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I don't know how to continue. I will come back to this but I need to think about how I want to progress this. I want to do something but it sounds so harsh and erugh it makes me sick to think about it. If you have ideas on what you think should happen please let me know. I need more ideas ;A;


End file.
